Peace and happiness

Ted Hawkins' music isn't about his difficult past, but his promising future

"If I thought I could do that--heal somebody--I would go to hospitals and play for free," he says. But the man who believes in spirituality and the handiwork of the dead, doubts the power of his music.

"Heal somebody by singing?" He is startled by the thought, at once skeptical and hopeful. "That would really be spiritual, wouldn't it? Well, why should she lie? I mean, to go through all that trouble just to get to me. It was almost impossible for her to get through the crowd. It might have been the truth. First time I've ever looked at it like that. What I've got to learn to do is learn to give myself a little credit.

"My self-esteem has been down for so long, and when something outstanding happens it's kind of hard to believe. You keep a dog outside in the cold all his life and then tell him to come in the house, he'll look at you like you're crazy and he won't come in."

Ted Hawkins performs November 13 at Poor David's Pub.

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