Buzz

Daisy Duke dreams
Is it some kind of colossal I.Q. test?
Buzz learned last week that Texas Motor Speedway officials have been "overwhelmed" by interest in the condominiums they plan to build at the stock-car racetrack under construction north of Fort Worth.

If the interest turns into deals, the condos, which will range in price from $275,000 to $575,000 (not exactly just gas money), would be built nine stories above turn two of the track, offering splendid views of the speedway.

Speedway officials allege that interest in the condos in Fort Worth has outstripped the interest in similar track-view condos in Atlanta and Charlotte.

Is Buzz missing something? As any Irving resident can tell you, property values usually plummet near freeways and airports because of noise, congestion, pollution, and general tackiness. Yet at least 70 Dallasites are lining up to buy condos a sparkplug's throw from a racetrack where the vehicles have never seen a muffler, let alone a catalytic converter. The stands below will be packed with 160,000 screaming, light-beer-swilling, Dukes of Hazard-loving stock-car fans.

That's class.

For whom the tolls fail
While loitering in a Dallas North Tollway booth last week, Buzz couldn't help but notice the memo taped on the wall. The subject of the red alert will remain nameless, but his crime was passing hot checks to the Texas Turnpike Authority to cover his commute.

This ultraromantic bandit, whom we like to refer to as "The Tollway Man," passed nine bad checks for 50 cents each--a $4.50 crime spree. (You'd think the tollbooth sentries would have gotten wise sooner).

Still, we're left wondering: Why didn't the guy pantomime the coin-toss and just barrel on through--like everybody else in Dallas does when they come up short on change? Unless, of course, it is the Hannibal Lecter-esque thrill of engaging in a mental chess-game with a tollbooth attendant.

Driving Mr. Stanley
The ever-amazing Mr. Stanley, Neiman Marcus chairman emeritus and authority on everything, called for Draconian measures to encourage carpooling in one of his recent Morning News columns. It seems Mr. Stanley got stuck in traffic in Houston, which prompted him to opine that short of flat outlawing single-occupancy commuting during rush hours, "a sizable tax, such as $1,000 to $2,000 a year, should be levied on antisocial single-car drivers."

Mr. Stanley's friends probably consider commuting with a driver and a personal assistant to be carpooling.

True confessions
Buzz wonders if painfully honest self-reflection might be a New Year's resolution for Voice of the Codgers Dallas Morning News columnist Bob St. John. In a typically clichŽd column December 26 on the zaniness of Christmas shopping in a Foley's women's department, St. John penned perhaps his truest, navel-gazing observation yet: "Sometimes I'm stuck in a time warp.