By Anna Merlan
By Lee Escobedo
By Alice Laussade
By Scott Reitz
By Claire Lawton
By Kiernan Maletsky
By Anna Merlan
* America's Deadliest Home Video, the finest movie ever made in Racine, Wisconsin, starring Danny Bonaduce as a nerdy husband in love with his camcorder who ends up running from the law with three convenience store specialists who decide they kinda like having their exploits recorded on tape.
* Attack of the 60-Foot Centerfold, the epic starring J.J. North as the ditzy blonde who takes just a little too many breast-enhancement drugs and ends up stomping around Malibu.
* Mute Witness, the story of a mute special-effects makeup artist who witnesses a snuff film being made and ends up being chased through Moscow by the Mafia, the cops, a goofball American director and his girlfriend.
* Return of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, the first decent sequel to the greatest drive-in movie ever made, about two prom-night couples who get lost out on a highway where a creepy redneck named W.E. roams around in a satanic wrecker.
* Twisted Love, a cross between Misery and Boxing Helena that has the most disgusting elements of both, starring Lisa Dean Ryan as the high-school wallflower who picks up the football hunk after a motorcycle accident and straps him into the upstairs bedroom of a house she's taking care of.
Copyright ©1996 Joe Bob Briggs. (Distributed by NYT Special Features/Syndication Sales.)
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