Nobody Here But Us Chickens: Kitchen Dog Theater delivers a trio of short plays by playwright Peter Barnes that, like all truly great comedy, threatens to be misunderstood and cause a firestorm of ignorant protests. Each of the one-acts in Nobody Here But Us Chickens deals with the subject of being handicapped, but if you expect drama along the lines of an "empowering" TV movie about the triumph of the human spirit, watch out. The title play is also the first and deals with two men who think they're chickens; More Than a Touch of Zen presents two handicapped students trying to learn judo; and Not As Bad As They Seem mixes sexual tension and physical disability. Performances are Thursday-Saturday at 8 p.m., and Sunday "pay-what-you-can" matinees are at 2 p.m., through March 24 at the McKinney Avenue Contemporary, 3120 McKinney Ave. Tickets are $6-$12.
17th Annual Spring Dallas Home and Garden Show: While a garden show is a perfectly natural event to coincide with the let's-get-outside mentality of spring, you'd think an exhibit dealing with home repair, decoration, improvement, etc. would fare better in winter. As it happens, the Spring Dallas Home and Garden Show does boffo business each and every season of the blooms. Highlights include "Smart House!" which features the latest in interactive home technology (didn't these folks ever see Demon Seed?); top Dallas chefs offering culinary tips in "Cooking With the Best"; and garden entries from the Texas Association of Landscape Contractors. The show is open Friday, 2-9 p.m.; Saturday, 10 a.m.-9 p.m.; and Sunday, 11 a.m.-6 p.m. at Market Hall, 2200 Stemmons Freeway. Tickets are $5 for adults, $.50 for kids. Call 732-6100.
We Were Baptized Too: Pat Buchanan is an even more influential figure in this year's presidential campaign than in 1992. Even if he doesn't get the nomination, his current success almost guarantees both major parties will move even farther right, which means it's open season once again on gays, lesbians, and the North American Free Trade Agreement. Buchanan likes to paint the homosexual community as leathermen, drag queens, and butch-femmes. (Those are only the most fun-lovin' members). Ironically, there are plenty of gay and lesbian Christians out there who might be happy to vote for a social conservative like Buchanan if only he weren't so hateful toward them. Marilyn Alexander, an executive director at Southern Methodist University's Perkins School of Theology, has just released We Were Baptized Too: Claiming God's Grace for Gays and Lesbians. Alexander appears to discuss her book at 3 p.m. at Crossroads Market, 3930 Cedar Springs Road. For information call 521-8919.
Rebecca: Attend the USA Film Festival's First Monday Classic screening of Rebecca. Enjoy the sumptuous black-and-white photography, the effortless confidence of Hitchcock's compositions, the scintillating love-hate gazes exchanged between beautiful Joan Fontaine and dashing Laurence Olivier, but whatever you do, don't remember Carol Burnett's hilarious spoof Rebeky from her early '70s TV show. If Judith Anderson starts to resemble a bewigged Vicki Lawrence as Mrs. Danvers, just repeat to yourself, "Mama's Family...Mama's Family...," and the urge to laugh will pass. The film screens March 4 at 7:30 p.m. at the AMC Glen Lakes Theatre, 9450 N. Central Expressway, and March 5 at 7:30 p.m. at the AMC Sundance 11, 304 Houston in Fort Worth. Tickets are $5.50-$6.50. Call 821-NEWS.
Arts & Letters Live: One of the best hopes for reversing Dallas' reputation as a literary wasteland, the Arts & Letters Live series kicks off another season with "Texas Bound," a program in which Texas actors read Texas authors. The star of this evening is perhaps on the cusp of being a bigger star: Marcia Gay Harden, Tony nominee from the Broadway production of the two-part Angels in America, co-stars opposite Ellen Burstyn in the wildly praised film, Care of the Spitfire Grill, which wowed 'em at Sundance and is soon to be released nationwide with much fanfare. Other readers include local theater fave Dolores Godinez, and TV-and-movie-character-actor Barry Corbin. Performances happen at 6:30 and 8:30 p.m. at the Dallas Museum of Art, 1717 N. Harwood. Tickets are $10-$12. For more information call 922-1219.
Hero's, Women Who Have Inspired: WAVE, the North Texas-based women artists' collective, is currently involved in an exchange program with one of the most critically acclaimed women artists' group in the country. While WAVE presents an exhibition of its work in Chicago, the group hosts a Denton exhibition by Artemisia, a 23-year-old collective that has put itself on the art-world map by debuting the work of women artists who went on to storm the corridors of the Establishment. An artist's reception is March 8, 6-8 p.m., and the show runs through March 15, at the Fine Arts Gallery of Texas Woman's University, Texas and Oakland in Denton. A series of lectures at TWU, University of North Texas, and Modern Art Museum of Fort Worth begins March 5. All of the lectures are free, as is the exhibition. For information call (817) 898-2530.
Around the World With Toys and Games: If we can be permitted a moment of jingoism, America really makes the coolest toys in the entire world. Period. End of discussion. Now, in the spirit of keeping an open mind, we heartily encourage attendance at the International Museum of Cultures' exhibit, Around the World With Toys and Games. Actually, once you see this show, you might decide America's children would be a little healthier if they relied less on megabillion-dollar corporations and more on their own minds and hands, as do many kids in Croatia, Mexico, Guatemala, and countries throughout Asia. Toys and games from all those places are on display. The show runs through May 31 at the International Museum of Cultures, 7500 W. Camp Wisdom Road. It's free. Call 709-2406.