By Jim Schutze
By Rachel Watts
By Lauren Drewes Daniels
By Anna Merlan
By Lee Escobedo
The skit that prompted Connor to shoot himself in the foot yet again was a song about Disney's acquisition of the S-T, as part of its buyout of Capital Cities-ABC. Sung to the tune of the Mickey Mouse Club theme, of course, the song goes like this:
Who's the owner off the Star
Now paying you and me?
D-I-S-N-E-Y, the fun industry!
Hey there, hi there, ho there,
We're as nervous as can be.
D-I-S-N-E-Y, please do not sell me.
Disney Blues! (Shouted off stage) Morning News!
Disney Blues! (Shouted off stage) Morning New!
And so on.
We don't know exactly why the song honked off Connor (he wouldn't return our phone calls). But maybe it was the chorus:
"Rich Connor says to keep our profits high/High! High! High!" Or, considering the News' recent Hunlike invasion into S-T's Arlington turf, he might not have seen the humor in the finale:
S stands for Star-Telegram.
Y? Because we're the only damn paper in town!
(Shouted off stage) Morning News!
(All) Please do not sell me.
Rockin' with the angels
Sure, you've all seen Texas Monthly's Joe Nick Patoski's slam-bang biography of Selena excerpted in The Dallas Morning News. You probably think you know everything about the Tejano singer's life.
But what about after?
That's right. Buzz has seen plenty of tributes and special-edition Selena books in the past year, but we bided our time. Finally one crossed the Buzz International desk last week that we deemed worth sharing. It's written by a fan in the form of a soliloquy from Selena herself--from the other side of the veil:
When I woke, I saw myself in the hospital and my family all around me. Why were they all crying? Hey everybody, what's wrong? Can't you all hear me?
Best of all, this one-page, notarized memoir fills in all the important blanks for Selena fans: Yes, Selena is happy, singing with the angels, and waiting for her fans to join her. (No! Not all at once or anytime soon!) Sadly, she still doesn't understand why Yolanda Saldivar shot her. "Wasn't I a good role model for people?" she asks.
And thanks, she loved the funeral.
Memo from Dallas to D publisher Wick Allison: Enough already, we get it! D is for white, rich people. How could we miss the point after D's April cover on Dallas prep schools, complete with the photo of two perky ultracaucasian youths?