At cross porpoises

Flipper flounders by being dull for adults and kids

The contrivances eventually reach a boiling point: When the scary storm that bashes the boats around looks not like the terrifying gale in White Squall but the opening credits to Gilligan's Island, you have to throw up your hands in disgust. Isn't it bad enough that the movie is virtually unwatchable? Do they have to make it worse by stealing its few ideas from even more reprehensible "classic" television shows?

Flipper. Universal. Paul Hogan, Elijah Wood. Written and directed by Alan Shapiro. Opens May 17.

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