By Jim Schutze
By Rachel Watts
By Lauren Drewes Daniels
By Anna Merlan
By Lee Escobedo
A tale of two cities
Hey, would somebody kindly point out to whichever idiot is in charge of your Buzz column that the Palace of Wax is in Grand Prairie, not Arlington. That's twice now that you've slammed Arlington for being tacky by associating it with something that isn't even in the city! Besides, I'll take our Rangers over your piddly-ass Cowboys any day.
Via the Internet
Editor's Note: We thank Mr. Smith for his attention to detail, and apologize for our inability to distinguish between Arlington and Grand Prairie. For the edification of our Dallas readers, we offer a brief primer on the two cities:
Arlington, founded by paroled convicts, is a failed utopian community, now overrun by warring packs of brigands. Two primary rebel groups, the Realtors and the Fast Food Franchisers, are locked in a pitched battle for control of the city. The fighting worries preservationists, who fear that many of the city's historic mobile-home parks will be destroyed. The city's National Backhoe Hall of Fame has already been badly damaged in a firefight.
Grand Prairie, on the other hand, is a benevolent dictatorship, where citizens gather each year and, by acclamation, install a developer as Lord King Potentate. The storied Festival of Peace, Light, and Sheetrock ensues, with its traditional animal sacrifices, free barbecue, and fondue demonstrations. The daylong event climaxes with a torchlight procession to the Palace of Wax, where a statue of the outgoing Lord King Potentate is unveiled.
I'm not sure what the point was of Laura Miller's article on Mayor Ron Kirk ["Tough choices," October 10], unless it was intended to be a satire of the class tattletale. So she caught the mayor playing hooky and spending time with his family on the weekend. Quelle scandale. Was this a blunder on the mayor's part? Maybe. Was this insensitive? Probably. Is this important to the citizens of Dallas? Doubtfully.
Perhaps the point of the story was to let all your readers know that Miller gets invited to fancy dinners and can call the mayor at home. We're very impressed. I suppose we should all be grateful that Dallas doesn't have any serious problems demanding Miller's attention.
Will someone please tell Laura Miller that the blame game is truly over and not even the poison pen can win? Her recent attempt to chastise Mayor Ron Kirk for missing a banquet at which he was listed seventh on a list of speakers was the most meanspirited, racist piece I have seen her do yet.
It was not enough that on the front of the issue she states "Mayor Ron pulls an exodus on the Jews" (a cheap effort to make the small banquet [into a] racial issue), she also deemed it appropriate to telephone his residence on a Sunday evening and question him personally on his whereabouts. But it gets better. In the body of the article, she suggests that Kirk was gratuitously handed a partnership at his law firm, Gardere & Wynne, and that a campaign contribution by a deceased partner with that firm--but not associated with the banquet group--should have guaranteed Kirk's presence at the banquet, even if he was tired and wanted to spend some time with his own family.
Miller is a topnotch investigative reporter, and I am certain she is aware that prior to joining Gardere & Wynne, Kirk was the Texas Secretary of State. Prior to that, he was a partner in another large, Dallas law firm; and prior to that he was a very successful lobbyist for the City of Dallas in Austin. Few if any partners in law firms across the country, not just Dallas, have those type of credentials. He does not deserve the type of criticism hurled at him by Miller. Although I do not expect her to be woman enough to do so, Miller owes Kirk and his wife an apology.
Am I to be comforted (?) in the knowledge that Mayor Ron Kirk only makes bigoted comments "off the record?"
Boy, Kirk has certainly fitted himself neatly into the white, Southern, "good old boys" system, hasn't he?