Rodney Carrington: With uber-heterosexuals such as Tim Allen, Rob Becker, Howard Stern, et al. draining millions of dollars from a public that can't seem to get enough of their "straight face" shtick, you wouldn't think there'd be room for another Regular Guy on the horizon. But Kilgore, Texas, native Rodney Carrington is clever enough to make you take a second look at white guys. Carrington has transformed his love for "tear in my beer" music into a full-fledged musical comedy act. His satirical country songs, performed everywhere from A&E's "Evening at the Improv" to TNN's "Comedy Roundup," walk an impressive line--edgy enough to lampoon the genre's excesses, but affectionate enough to please country music fans. Performances are Thursdays-Sundays, 8:30 p.m.; Fridays-Saturdays, 8:30 & 10:30 p.m., at the Improv, 4980 Belt Line, Addison. Call (972) 404-8501.
Cindy Horstman: For a few choice quotes from award-winning Dallas-based harpist Cindy Horstman, flip to Matt Weitz's "Street Beat" column toward the back of the issue. Horstman celebrates the release of her new CD, Tutone, with a performance on the stage of the acoustically friendly Bath House Cultural Center. Local guitar hero and good buddy Andy Timmons tames his notorious monster riffs to provide a little rhythm and color to Horstman's feather-light fingertips. The event happens at 8 p.m. at the Bath House Cultural Center, 521 E. Lawther. It's free, but seating is limited. Call (214) 670-8749.
Hawkwood Medieval Fantasy Fair: The whole fun of events like the Hawkwood Medieval Fantasy Fair is that you get all the cool stuff from the Middle Ages--the chalices of mead, the overflowing bosoms, the frolicking village fools--without those pesky historical unpleasantries--festering wounds, rotted teeth, child exploitation. Hawkwood can basically be described with three figures--80 merchant shops, six stages, and two pubs. Constant visitation among all three plus lots of discretionary income equals an afternoon fit for knight--except, of course, for the rape and dismemberment. The Fair is open Saturdays and Sundays until 10 p.m. in Grapevine. Admission is $5-$10, with kids under 3 admitted free. For directions call (817) 430-4102.
Second Annual Jewish Arts Fest of Dallas: The last names of the participants in the Jewish Community Center of Dallas' Second Annual Jewish Arts Fest reads like a bar mitzvah guest list--Schwartz, Richman, Yaffe, Gross, Geffner. Not to be outdone in a state overflowing with Latino and African-American cultural celebrations, the community center hopes to reach everyone who wants a taste of Hebrew tradition in food, music, and writing. Broadway star Bruce Adler is the headliner, with performances by the Maxwell Street Klezmer Band, Safam, the Dallas Symphony Chorus, and a host of local poets and writers. The event kicks off at 10 a.m. in the Morton H. Meyerson Symphony Center, 2301 Flora. Tickets are $3-$5, with additional cost for the Bruce Adler show. Call (214) 739-2737.
Visions: The Women's Expo: As was recently noted in newspapers across the state, Ann Richards has been hired as a spokeswoman for the tobacco industry, and amidst all the self-righteous anti-smoking mania, we say: You go, girl! Richards is smarter and cooler than Jesse Helms, and unlike Helms, has the added advantage of being a member of the human race; she's just the person to inject a little common sense in what is, at heart, a quality-of-life issue. Richards is the keynote speaker for "Visions: The Women's Expo," the annual festival that tends to highlight career and consumerism alongside some health and social issues. Events happen Saturday, 10 a.m.-6 p.m., and Sunday, 11 a.m.-6 p.m., at Dallas Market Hall, 2200 Stemmons at Wycliff. Tickets are $5-$6, with kids under 12 admitted free. Call (214) 523-0650.
13th Annual IronKids Triathlon National Championship: Even if the chronically TV-watching, Ding Dong-eating fat kid grows up to be a (sometimes) slender adult, he still can't help but regard as enemies the kids who aren't satisfied with swimming or biking or running, but must engage in all three consecutively. The 13th Annual Ironkids Triathlon National Championship is filled to the brim with athletic overachievers and others who should be doing something more productive with their time, like mainlining Hostess snack cakes and Nickelodeon. The event kicks off at 10:30 a.m. on the Northeast Campus of the Tarrant County Junior College in North Richland Hills. Any kid between the ages of 7 and 14 can sign up through the orientation, which is Saturday at 3:30 p.m. in the same location. Call (817) 581-5761.