Buzz

And your point is?
So former House Speaker Jim Wright--whom we love like kin; read last week's Buzz--says that Fort Worth and Dallas liked the restrictions on Love Field when he pushed them through Congress in 1979. Wright's comment came earlier this week during a court hearing on Fort Worth's and the D/FW Airport Board's effort to halt expanded flights out of Love.

That's nice--but so what? (Editor's note: Read the following analogy at your own risk.) Buzz liked and needed mother's milk when we were an infant. We're grown up now and don't particularly feel the need to return to the dairy bar. It's not 1979 anymore. Maybe it's time for D/FW to unhook itself from the boob of the Wright Amendment's monopolistic protections.

(Warned you--the editor.)

Yeah, Wright
Speaker Jim wasn't the only witness to vent a vacuity at Monday's hearing.
D/FW executive director Jeff Fegan was there too, warning of possible dire consequences if Continental Express is allowed to begin flying three--three!--commuter flights from Love.

He said that could set a precedent that would lead to an exodus from the world's second-busiest airport, halting growth and jeopardizing plans for a $6.3 billion--that's with a "b"--overhaul of D/FW.

Pardon our derisive snort, Cassandra.
The Bond Buyer reported last month that D/FW plans to forge ahead with plans for the improvements, despite the "threat" from Love.

Only 90 added daily flights are planned by the three airlines--Legend, Continental Express, and American--seeking to move into Love. That would bring Love's total daily flights to 360, roughly 13 percent of the number at D/FW.

Ooo! Scary, kids.
Or as a Moody's Investors Service executive told Bond Buyer: "D/FW is a hub airport, and no one is going to run a hub out of Love Field. I don't see anyone walking away from D/FW."

Of course, all the litigation over Love vs. D/FW could eventually put a crimp in D/FW's growth. There were 18 lawyers present at Monday's hearing representing various parties. With that sort of meter running, maybe the airport should consider floating more bonds.

It's not us
We hesitate to bring it up, but apparently the clucks in the Ku Klux Klan are at it again, snagging copies of the Dallas Observer, stuffing them with some of their semi-simian hate literature, and pitching them onto Dallas yards.

At least that's the word from two callers to Buzz, who found violated Observers on their lawns.

There's not much we can do to stop it, and we imagine that the pinheads responsible don't read the paper, or they wouldn't choose us as a vessel. Of course, our stories run pretty long, and we use some pretty big words--two, three syllables sometimes--so their lips must get tired before they finish one of our features.

Just trash the hate screed. Enjoy the home delivery.

Hep cats
It's kind of new, kind of wow. It's The Dallas Morning News' latest promotional effort featuring The Delivery Guy, who will cruise the streets this summer in a '56 T-Bird giving away goodies in a sweepstakes, and, hopefully, signing up subscribers. Eventually, some lucky winner will get the car.

"I'm hip. I'm now. I'm The Delivery Guy," says the News' house ad, which features an Opie-Taylor-joins-the-Rat-Pack model in a fedora and Wayfarers.

Jesus wept.
Listen up, baby. How 'bout you swing your rod down to some of the poorer parts of Dallas where you can't even get home delivery of the News. But first you'd better put the top up on that 'Bird and take off that silly hat.

Gone (not) fishin'
The Wright Amendment. The Klan. Silliness at the News. The damn heat. We tell you, it's enough to make Buzz addled. What we need is to get out of the city and relax with a little fishing.

Or so we thought.
"July is National Recreation and Parks Month, and what better way to celebrate than by banning fishing on all park property?" begins a letter from People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals.

Well, we can think of lots of ways, most involving beer, but PETA's point is that fish feel pain, and discarded fishing line and hooks injure or kill millions of animals each year.

Now, Buzz admits we haven't exactly felt morally comfortable with fishing ever since we were young and listened to the pitiful little mewling noise a catfish makes when you pull it from the water. But our guilt subsided about the time our mom pulled the corn-meal-dipped fillets out of the hot oil.

Ban fishing? How else are American males supposed to learn just how little they have to say to their fathers, except while sitting in a boat on a lake?

OK, bad example, but give us a break, PETA. We gave up veal years ago thanks to your nagging. At least let us relax with a pole and a beer, and we promise not to toss any monofilament line on the bank or in the lake.

--Compiled from staff reports by Patrick Williams

Buzz makes pitiful little mewling noises when you don't write. Send e-mail to patrick_williams@dallasobserver.com