By Jim Schutze
By Rachel Watts
By Lauren Drewes Daniels
By Anna Merlan
By Lee Escobedo
No offense, but maybe it's your hearing, Ralph. To help you out, here's a brief little field guide to the News' holy cows: Ray Hunt? Moo. Tom Hicks? Moo for him too. The arena project? Oh, yeah. Big moo. The Trinity River project? Moo, moo, moo, moo, moo.
Still, we were so moved by the AJR article that we were inspired to try our hand at verse (like Jewel, except with smaller breasts):
Ralph's never seen a sacred cow
He's never even heard one;
But Buzz can tell you, anyhow,
The News has moos by the ton.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch
While Ralph Langer may have a little trouble spotting a sacred cow, that's apparently not a problem over at D Magazine, a veritable XIT Ranch of blessed bovines. "D Magazine special report helps pass bond election," brags a headline in the mag's quarterly newsletter. The special report, "Building a New Dallas," was published by D and sent to voters before the Trinity bond election to get out the vote. And D is actually proud of it.
"As the city magazine of Dallas, part of our mission is to provide the public with crucial information that may not be readily assessable [sic] anywhere else," the newsletter quotes associate publisher Mike Orren. (Note that he said it was crucial information, not necessarily accurate information.)
Finally, definitive proof
At last, the search is over. We've found irrefutable evidence of intelligent life in Oak Cliff. We're referring, of course, to Se-Gwen Tyler's election victory over Richard Evans for the DISD board.
We've heard from dozens of readers over the weeks since Buzz began the search for intelligence south of Interstate 30, part of our effort to help persuade Barnes & Noble to build a bookstore in the Cliff. They bragged about the area's rolling hills, tree-shaded lanes, and quiet, friendly neighborhoods, as if you have to be particularly smart to appreciate those things.
But now the voters in DISD's District 5, which includes parts of East Oak Cliff and West Dallas, have declined to elect Evans. So a high school dropout who lied about his education, and who has a history of making anti-Semitic remarks, won't represent the district.
OK, so maybe you didn't have to be a genius on that one, either.
--Compiled from staff reports by Patrick Williams