Only the Mafia can fix contests better than the organizers of the Lilith Fair. In fact, we already know the winner of the Lilith Fair talent search to be held at Trees on Thursday: She's white, vaguely pretty in a hippie-chick way, and performs many of her songs on acoustic guitar. OK, we don't know exactly who will win the talent search. And because that description fits many of the competitors in the contest (except for Captain Audio's Regina Chellew, performing as Cia), figuring out the identity of the winner will be like finding a needle in a stack of needles. Like it matters who wins the talent show anyway, because the prize amounts to little more than free admission to the Dallas stop of the tour on July 22 at Starplex Amphitheatre. After all, when the winning performer takes the stage, most of the crowd will be in the parking lot buying "Chicks Rule!" T-shirts. Besides, opening up for a long Sarah McLachlan concert hardly seems like much of a reward to us. But, hey, good luck! The Lilith Fair talent search happens Thursday at Trees, 2709 Elm. Doors open at 8 p.m. Admission is $6. Call (214) 748-5009.
A few decades ago, men like Michael Cremo were locked away in sanitariums, spending their days muttering about global conspiracies and alien civilizations in between shock treatment. Now, they're on the writing staff for The X-Files and revered as gods on the Internet. To the geeks lurking in conspiracy chat rooms on the Internet, they're the heroes fighting the good fight, letting everyone in on the secrets that the government doesn't want anyone to know about. The truth is out there, or something like that. Maybe it's just us, but most of the theories still seem a little, well, crazy. Cremo's version of the truth revolves around Forbidden Archaeology, which, he says, reveals that ancient astronauts visited the earth tens of millions of years ago and created, among other things, the Egyptian pyramids. He relates all of this in excruciating detail (more than 900 pages) in his books Forbidden Archaeology and The Hidden History of the Human Race (a slightly more manageable version of Forbidden). Cremo appears in Dallas on Friday to present an even more abridged version of his work at the Clarion Hotel, located at Central Expressway and Campbell Road in Richardson, in a lecture sponsored by The Eclectic Viewpoint. For all we know, Cremo could be right. But then again, we don't know much. The lecture begins at 7:30 p.m., and admission is $20. Call (972) 422-9840.
When we were growing up, we'd watch cartoons every Saturday morning, and every Saturday morning, ABC would throw a roadblock into our weekend with a show featuring Menudo--teen superstars in Mexico, marginally talented smiley faces in America. One of those empty smiles was Ricky Martin, now riding the top of the charts with his irritating song "Livin' La Vida Loca." Every time we turn on MTV, there is Martin, shouting at us about how much he enjoys the crazy life of his girlfriend, or maybe just some chick he picked up in a bar. The song has maybe five words in it other than those in the title, and a melody a toddler could have come up with...and people can't get enough of it. Which only proves how important leather pants are to the music industry. Has the entire world forgotten how much they hated Menudo? Apparently. Martin will appear at 5 p.m. at Record Town in NorthPark Mall, Central Expressway and Park Lane, signing and autographs and acting sassy. And, obviously, livin' la vida loca. Bring earplugs if you ever want to hear again, and leave any faith in mankind at home. Call (214) 692-9844.
At this point, it's hard to tell whether Jake Lloyd, the cute towheaded kid who plays Anakin Skywalker in Stars Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace, will ever outlive his appearance as the boy who would later become Darth Vader. Will he have a career that includes such triumphs as Raiders of the Lost Ark and Blade Runner or flops like Corvette Summer and The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia? It's too close to call now--there is some truth to the Mannequin Skywalker jokes--but the smart money is on the latter. It's the difference between having more money than he knows what to do with and signing his name under "May the Force be with you" for $15 at places like the Sci-Fi Trilogy Celebration in Plano for the rest of his life. Referred to as "the Imperial cruiser of Star Wars conventions," the Trilogy Celebration features hundreds of booths featuring Star Wars action figures and memorabilia. More important is that it also hosts many of the people who inspired the toys, including Billy Dee Williams (Lando Calrissian), Kenny Baker (R2-D2), Jeremy Bulloch (Boba Fett), Peter Mayhew (Chewbacca), and Maria de Aragon (Greedo). Obsessed fans only, as if that needed to be said. The Sci-Fi Trilogy Celebration happens Friday through Sunday at the Plano Convention Center, Spring Valley and Central Expressway. Tickets are $5 to $25, and autographs range from $5 to $15. Call (972) 578-0213.
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