Coming up with high-quality, industrial-strength humor week after week is not easy. It takes wit. It takes diligence. It takes bribes. But sometimes God and the fax machine provide the straight lines just when the well runs dry. The latest manna from heaven comes from "soul mate expert" and "relationship coach" Susan Bradley RN:
"Crying while making love is one of the top 25 ways of recognizing that someone is your irresistible soul mate."
Do tears of laughter count?
Bradley RN--the press release and her Web site always have the RN--is the author of How to be Irresistible to the Opposite Sex. She is coming to Dallas next month to offer seminars on finding your soul mate, plus a Romance Bootcamp, Flirting Safari, and a session on Breaking Your Love Barriers. (Yes, they're trademarked.)
"I like to think of myself as Cupid's accomplice," Bradley RN told Buzz. She began 12 years ago dispensing advice in an Ohio singles magazine after her first marriage ended nastily.
An ugly break-up doesn't exactly sound like a sterling qualification to become a relationship expert to Buzz, but the singles world soon became her laboratory.
"There was nowhere for people to go to learn how to have irresistible relationships," she says. She's created that place with her seminars. Bradley RN says her reputation has grown to the point that she recently counseled three students from Columbine High School in Colorado following the shooting there. She taught them and their families how to break down their love barriers. (They probably thought they would learn how to dive down behind barriers.)
Still, if you're not all weepy in the sack, just dish out $20-$69 for a seminar ticket to help you find true love--which is probably less than you would pay at one of Dallas' fine strip clubs for a reasonable facsimile of the same.
Mr. Opinionated
Since its formation in March, Gov. George W. Bush's presidential exploratory committee has announced new political endorsements about as often as most people drink coffee. Twice a day across the nation, reporters' fax machines sound their shrill alarms and out comes another bulletin from Bush's people proclaiming the support of another congressman, governor, or delegation.
But this week, for the first time, the exploratory committee's media team produced something new, something unheard of from the governor: an opinion on a national issue! The subject: The Cox Report on China's alleged theft of American nuclear secrets.
"Today's report shines a glaring light on the current administration's failed policies..." the statement read. "Presented with detailed information about China's espionage, this administration apparently did not take it seriously."
Had Bush chosen to speak out on this issue because of some strategic reason?
Dave Beckwith, a former press aide for Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison, who came on board for Bush just a few weeks ago, cautioned against reading anything into the timing of his candidate's first press statement on a policy issue.
"It really had to do with getting things rolling here. I mean, I had to find the bathroom first," he said.
--Compiled from staff reports by Patrick Williams
