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By Anna Merlan
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(d) Susie Woodhams will be made head choreographer for the Dallas Mavericks Dancers. Woodhams must appear during at least one routine each home game and be stationed in front of Junior 's floor seat.
3. Dallas Mavericks President Terdema Ussery will replace Sports Day editor Dave Smith. Smith will now be placed in charge of security for American Airlines Center, but only during the building process. Once American Airlines Center is completed in September 2008, Smith will be promoted to Director of Publicity. His duties will include the following:
(a) Making sure Junior's glass is never less than half full.
(b) Writing all press releases about the new arena, which will be reprinted verbatim in The Dallas Morning News and read on WFAA-Channel 8 and TXCN during the first three minutes of nightly broadcasts.
(c) Sweeping up after home games with the arena's new janitorial staff, to be made up of The Dallas Morning News' investigative team and other Pulitzer Prize winners on staff.
4. Should Michael Finley, Chris Anstey, Steve Nash, or Shawn Bradley score fewer than 10 points per game, the following morning during home stands they will deliver papers in the South Dallas area. If they score fewer than 15 points combined during more than 50 games in a single season, all four will sell classified ads during the off-season.
5. Every Dallas Mavericks season-ticket holder will be forced to subscribe to The Dallas Morning News. If said ticket holder already has subscription, then he/she must receive The Arlington Morning News.
6. Ten percent of all revenue from sales of The Dallas Morning News will go toward funding American Airlines Center. All newsstand sales will go toward paying for the new arena.
(a) Dallas Morning News staffers will now park their cars at the new arena and take a Hillwood shuttle to the paper's offices, which will now be repainted, inside and outside, in green and blue.
(b) Dallas Mavericks mascot Mavs Man will deliver papers on Monday, Thursday, Friday, and Sunday. On Tuesday, Wednesday, and Saturday, he will edit Sports Day and write a front-page column.
7. Effective immediately, the Dallas Mavericks' advertising slogan will be changed from "One Fan at a Time" to "One Reader at a Time."
8. Beginning with the 1999-2000 season, the Dallas Mavericks' jerseys will replace players' names with the slogan "Sunday Isn't Sunday Without the Sunday Dallas Morning News."
(a) The Mavericks Dancers will perform once a night to the "Sunday Isn't Sunday Without the Sunday Dallas Morning News" ad jingle.
9. The Dallas Mavericks will sign free agent Gary Trent to a two-year, $5 million contract. The Dallas Morning News also will then hire Trent as a Fashion!Dallas consultant for $25 million for five years, with a $7.54 million signing bonus.
10. Any stories about the new arena must adhere to the following guidelines:
(a) No stories about cost overruns or delays in the construction of the Americans Airlines Center will appear in The Dallas Morning News or on WFAA-Channel 8 or TXCN. From now on, any delays will be referred to as "improvements" that are "making the arena a world-class sports facility." Use of the phrase "that giant sucking sound" is strictly forbidden, as is "conflict of interest."
(b) Mr. Hicks, Junior, and The Mayor will approve any story about the new arena. All three will have free rein to rewrite the story, and The Mayor will provide headlines for any stories about the new arena.
(c) Dallas Morning News architecture critic David Dillon will no longer criticize the design of the new arena. From now on, he will be limited to the following phrases when writing about the American Airlines Center: "ahead of its time," "breathtakingly beautiful," "a basketball heaven," "a slam-dunk design," "the eighth wonder of the world," and "round."
(d) Should Dallas City Councilwoman Laura Miller or a local media outlet not owned by Belo request city documents pertaining to the American Airlines Center, Belo, the Dallas Mavericks, and Hillwood will be notified immediately. The documents will be handed over to Belo, and all three parties will then destroy the documents.
11. No part of this agreement shall appear in the pages of The Dallas Morning News or on any television station owned by Belo, including but not limited to WFAA-Channel 8 and TXCN. Should this contract appear in print in a Belo publication, the deal will be voided, and Belo's interest in the Dallas Mavericks will be handed over to Mr. Hicks at no cost.
Accepted & Agreed:
Ross Perot Jr.
Chief Executive Officer