Quick -- run away

Speak now, or forever wish you hadn't wasted eight bucks

Pretty awful: Richard Gere and Julia Roberts are a match made in the deepest bowels of hell.
Pretty awful: Richard Gere and Julia Roberts are a match made in the deepest bowels of hell.

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Directed by Garry Marshall

Written by Josann McGibbon and Sara Parriott

Starring Julia Roberts, Richard Gere, Joan Cusack, and Hector Elizondo

Opens July 30

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When the film finally does fall completely apart, it seems little more than a foregone conclusion. Ike and Maggie get together for one reason and one reason only -- because they have to. Perish the thought that Marshall, who gave us, among other things, Laverne & Shirley, might play upon our expectations and attempt something original. Everything about Runaway Bride -- the sitcom pacing, the unvaried shot selection, the 1987 soundtrack -- is perfectly ordinary, like a made-for-Lifetime movie. Marshall is the very definition of a hack; his one and only desire is to play to the lowest common denominator. This is the secret of his success: He aspires to mediocrity. With Runaway Bride, he has scored another bull's-eye.

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