Bigmouth strikes again

Zac checks his Christmas list twice, finding out who's naughty and nice

We're still a couple of weeks away from the final onslaught of best-of lists, but we'll go on record right now as saying that Cary Pierce has to be the best sport around, whether you're talking about this year or any other. Last Thursday at Trees, following a set by Crash Vinyl, Pierce introduced himself to us, smiled, and said, "Thanks for writing about my record." That was it, no angry words or clenched fists, not even a "bastard" or "asshole" tacked onto the end of his sentence. The tests aren't back from the lab yet, but we detected absolutely no trace of cynicism in the few words he did say, making Pierce either blessedly naive or the biggest glutton for punishment this side of, well, anyone. Even people we write nice things about have threatened to take a swing at us on occasion.

We expected more of a response from the former Jackopierce singer. At the very least, a few go-to-hell looks or some muttered curses. After all, only two weeks before, we'd said that each one of the songs on Pierce's solo debut, You Are Here, was "a little more insipid than the next," and that the album "is more or less an amalgam of every bad song that's appeared on The Edge in the past three or four years." Not to mention that Pierce "writes in the banal generalities of a life-long Hallmark employee, mistaking meaningless clichés for heartfelt sentiment." Of course, it's not that surprising, since Pierce's best role has always been playing the straight man; his apparent lack of talent has made a lot of room for a sense of humor. Besides, it doesn't really matter what anyone says about your music, as long as you have pretty hair and the blind adoration of every sorority house at SMU.

The same can't be said for Colleen Bradford, possibly better known to a few of you as Necrophilia, singer for The Necro Tonz. Judging by the 1,000-plus-word e-mail she fired off, it seems that Bradford didn't take too kindly to some of the things that were written about her and her band in last week's Street Beat. Specifically: "If you put your face really close to the paper, you can hear us holding our breath in anticipation," in reference to the delayed release of the group's second album, Welcome to Cocktail Hell. Seriously, Colleen, it could have been much worse; we just haven't been able to properly insult anyone since we put up the Christmas tree. For once, Cary Pierce has the right idea. God help us all.

 
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