By Jim Schutze
By Rachel Watts
By Lauren Drewes Daniels
By Anna Merlan
By Lee Escobedo
By Alice Laussade
By Scott Reitz
I don't expect much from a band whose thank-you list includes shout-outs to "Crown Royal, Seagrams 7, Wild Turkey, Coors Light...free weed from fans, casinos and titty bars" -- clearly, this isn't a band too concerned with the good stuff (Wild Turkey? Coors Light?). And obviously, sober's the wrong way to approach this aggro throwdown; Reinventing the Steel sounds like a hangover from drinking too much of that cheap-ass shit (they can afford better). All that pounding, all that grinding, all that squealing and squawking -- you know, all that "decadent" shit the gearheads go for now that Metallica's gone all pussy (sorry, "country"). Song titles: "Hellbound," "Goddamn Electric," "Death Rattle," "Yesterday Don't Mean Shit." Docked for not including Dallas Stars fight song.
If I were 15 or deaf, I might go for it too, but I like my tension with a little release -- and a little knowing humor, aside from the publicity still. Anselmo takes himself so seriously, he's damned near a politician, spouting self-help aphorisms to the mentally challenged yeehaws out there who think he's, like, smart. See: "Welcome to the death of a century, yeeeeeeeaaaaaaauuuuuhhhhhh...Yesterday don't mean shit, because tomorrow's the day you gotta face." See: "Smoke your head straight," or something like it (too hard to tell without the lyrics sheet, and there ain't enough time in the world to spend deciphering his gravel-pit growl). See: "I can't help the way I am." See: anything else you can pick out of the sludge pit without getting too dirty, though that is the point. There must be one, because otherwise, I swear to God these riffs came right off a Monsters of Metal compilation one of my longhaired pals gave me the night he turned 17. Other than that, hey, it fucking rocks.
— Robert Wilonsky
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