Sexy-tary of State

Sexy-tary of State: One of the few good episodes of Sex and the City this season saw Carrie riding the wild pony with a state politician. It was memorable not just for the shot of Sarah Jessica Parker's supple backside, but also because of the story line--that the sex columnist was actually quite normal in the rack, while the straitlaced politico was a complete freakazoid (come on and wind him up).

Perhaps that's the attraction many online viewers of Match.com have to our very own guv, George Dubya. According to highly placed sources within the Web site's power structure (read: a press release that showed up in our inbox just before deadline, thank goodness), 69 percent of singles said that Bush would make the best date (if he were single, of course) of all the presidential candidates. This despite the fact that both single men and women planned to vote for Veep Gore.

What does this tell us? A few important things. One, that single people don't want to get all Lewinsky with the person they vote into office. Two, that most single people, as we've long maintained, have incredibly poor taste in men. (This explains Buzz's long dry dating spell during high school, college, several years after college, etc.) So we decided to get the lowdown on Bush's datability from one of the metroplex's true guy experts: Todd Camp, head of the Fort Worth Gay and Lesbian Film Festival and a staffer at the Fort Worth Star-Telegram.

"Political leaning aside, even in a pretend scenario, Gore is still more attractive," says Camp, who is, by gay law, forced to vote Democrat. "Gore's got the sense-of-humor thing working for him. True, he is a stiff--so to speak. But he still beats Bush--who should be more attractive to me. He has the accent thing going for him. He should be able to pull off that corn-fed farm boy, dumb hick, good-for-one-night thing, but it just doesn't work for him. He'd probably have more luck with Dallas queens, because they're more money-conscious.

"Plus, I just can't see us having anything in common. He probably doesn't know anything about the theater. I doubt if he watches Buffy the Vampire Slayer. What the hell are we gonna talk about?"