Scene, Heard

Band-related paper cuts and other ironies.

Here's the funny strange/funny haha moment of the week: As we began to work on this week's column (read: woke up with our face on our keyboard and grabbed the nearest stack of papers in a clumsy and transparent attempt to look busy) we got a paper cut. A big one. It wasn't like someone shanked us out in the prison yard over a pack of smokes, but yes there was a significant amount of blood. Enough to make us scream and curse--in case you're wondering, the phrase in question was "motherfucking hammer of God"--and writhe around our office as though we'd been singled out by a nearby sniper. The funny haha/strange part? The cause of the life-threatening gash on our finger was a hard copy of an e-mail with a subject line that read--no kidding--"this month's pAper cuts." Painful? Sure, but we're willing to take one for the team as long as a punch line is involved. Why do you think we keep reviewing Cary Pierce records? (By the way, the price of that shot just keeps getting cheaper. Stock up now.)

Moving on, with that kind of willful disregard for capitalization rules, you might guess that the e-mail in question detailed the comings/goings of the pAper chAse, and, well, you'd be right. For a change. Turns out the pAper chAse's Young Bodies Heal Quickly, You Know has been nominated for Best Album of the Year in Flick Music's first annual FMI Stargazer Awards. Voting has already gotten under way at www.flickmusic.com, and you can cast your vote for the band until February 23. Winners will be announced on February 26. You can also vote for singer-guitarist John Congleton, who has also been nominated for Best Producer. In addition, MTV has picked up on the greatness of Young Bodies Heal Quickly, in its own strange way: Jackass, the network's Spike Jonze-created stupid-human-trick shindig, will be using songs and samples from the album in some of its upcoming episodes. Which can only be viewed as a good thing, because: a) each episode of Jackass has its share of comic genius and holy-shit stunts, and b) it's a long-held showbiz maxim that national exposure is national exposure, even if it means providing the soundtrack for a handful of devil-may-care twenty-somethings crotching themselves on various pipes and railings.

Locally, two tracks from Young Bodies Heal Quickly will appear on the third edition of Buzz-Oven's sampler series, along with a pair of songs each from Doosu and Clutch Cargo. The discs should start surfacing in late February, and the first all-ages show to support the three-band samplers is tentatively scheduled for March 30 at the Ridglea Theater. Unfortunately, the pAper chAse's agreement to participate in the Buzz-Oven project puts the kibosh on its plans to appear on a forthcoming split-CD for Clandestine Project Recordings. But new songs from the band will surface soon thanks to the band's upcoming CDEP, control-alt-delete-u, set for release in April on Chicago's Divot Records. (Quality Park Records will issue a vinyl version of the EP.) And Congleton is set to begin recording, among others, Chicago's sax-punk geniuses Sweep The Leg Johnny in the near future. In the meantime, the pAper chAse has set its sights on eliminating our other nine fingers. Even the oft-broken one that's shaped like a backward C...

The Toadies are finally at the finish line, with the release of Hell Below/Stars Above scheduled for either March 20 or 27, depending on whom you ask. (We just got our copy in the mail, and though we've only had one listen, it seems to be worth the wait.) Either way, that means soon. You should be able to hear one of the songs from the new disc in the next few weeks, and if you visit the band's Web site, located at www.thetoadies.com, you have a chance to determine which one makes the cut. Though "Motivational" was tentatively scheduled to be the first radio single, the group is letting its fans choose between four songs: "Motivational," "Push the Hand," "You'll Come Down," and the title track. Guitarist Clark Vogeler says that even if "Motivational" is indeed the first single, the poll will help determine the next song shipped to radio stations. The band will be playing at the annual South By Southwest Music Festival on March 17 at Stubb's with The Supersuckers. And more than likely, there'll be some sort of local release shindig around the same time. Possibly punch and cookies in our office, followed by our enthusiastic-yet-tasteful renditions of Toadies songs performed on a telephone keypad, wax paper and comb, and cardboard boxes, with former Q102 fixture Doug "Redbeard" Hill guesting on human beatbox. We'd be doing it anyway...

While hanging around the federal courthouse on Commerce Street recently--just, you know, checking on the status of our case--we happened upon a ruling in the lawsuit LeAnn Rimes filed against her record label, Curb Records, in November. Issued on January 10 by Judge Jerry Buchmeyer, the order denied Curb's motion to dismiss and granted the label's motion to transfer venue, specifically to the district court in Nashville, where Curb is based. That is pretty much irrelevant as far as we're concerned; anyone with a basic understanding of Law & Order could have predicted both of those decisions when the case was filed. The real point of interest here is Buchmeyer's ruling, which is divided into two "songs," with lyrics penned by Buchmeyer's law clerk Elizabeth Falk and intended to be sung to the tune of Rimes' "How Do I Live" and "I Need You." "Songs?" you ask. Yes, songs. As in:

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