Bad Ideas, Inc.

The Bone rocks The Merge right off your FM dial

Best sign that program director Scott Strong and the gents over at Susquehanna Radio Corp. have given up on the station located at 93.3 on your FM dial: 93.3 The Bone Classic Texas Rock that ROCKS. OK, so maybe it's a little early to declare the new incarnation of the station a bust, seeing as the format change has only been in effect since around noon January 3, when The Merge officially went teats up. But let's just put it this way: When you've decided to let Sammy Hagar remind your, um, listeners that there is, in fact, only one way to rock, you're pretty much just killing time until yet another new format comes a-calling.

Another bad idea when launching a "new" station: issuing a press release that uses the station's name in as many ways as possible, none of them at all creative. As in, "The new 93.3 The Bone is the perfect hanging out with the guy's [sic] radio station that's Bone-a-fide Dallas/Fort Worth." (Also wouldn't be a bad idea to learn the plural form of "guy." Just add an "s"; pretty standard stuff, people.) Or, "The new 93.3 The Bone is 'Bad to the Bone.'" (Saw that one coming, huh?) Or maybe, "The new 93.3 The Bone is Bone-a-fide CLASSIC TEXAS ROCK THAT ROCKS." And this one is just way too over the top: "The new 93.3 The Bone will rock you down to the bone, no bones about it." Simmer down, folks, we get the point: You're The Bone, you ROCK, blah blah blah. Perhaps the most chilling line in the press release heralding the arrival of The Bone is this: "This is the music that Texans have been--and will be--rocking to for the rest of their lives." Uh...OK. Kind of sounds like a threat, doesn't it? Is it possible to defect from a state?

More simply, when revamping a station, you could (and should) avoid a playlist that revolves around Def Leppard, AC/DC, KISS, Lynyrd Skynyrd and, of course, Hagar. (The Merge had Peter Gabriel, and now The Bone has The Red Rocker. God help us all.) Then again, we suppose, that's the point when you name your station The Bone. Cock-rock, dude! Dude? Dude. Sure, we admit that we won't mind having another place on the dial to find a little Gn'F'nR. But the rest of it? They're really only meant to be heard in the background of "they were on top of the world until drugs and alcohol got in the way" segments on Behind the Music. It's better than listening to several dozen versions of the same horrendous Creed song, but still. You could always just turn off your radio. (Or listen to KZPS-FM, located just to the leftof The Bone.)

Seems that 93.3 FM is becoming the spot on the radio dial where nothing ever sticks, the store on the corner that changes names every few months but no one shops there no matter what it's called. (How many listeners realized The Merge was still in business? Thought it signed off months ago. Huh.) So if you're not picking up what The Bone is laying down--so far, the best part of the station has been the guy who hacked its Web site, www.933thebone.com, and left shout-outs to his homies--just wait a few months. Something else will come along. Although, given the recent history of 93.3, you probably won't like that either. Just saying.

Redbeard, come back. All is forgiven...

Moving on to classic rock of a different stripe, the Punk Rock Dinosaurs will play one more time, on January 11 at the Red Blood Club. Of course, their show in October at Club Dada was supposed to be a one-off, so it wouldn't be terribly surprising if the band winds up playing again after Friday's gig. You might not know the Punk Rock Dinosaurs, but you may know (or, at least, have heard of) a few of the men who make up the group, among them a pair of former Nervebreakers, singer-guitarist Barry Kooda and guitarist Mike Haskins, as well as drummer Russell Fleming (Bag of Wire, The Cornflake Killers), guitarist Jonathan Lacey (The Cutrate Toxins, The Barry Kooda Combo) and bassist Allan Hayslip (Vibrolux, Sixty-Six, Floor 13). As with the Dada show, PRD will "play a bunch of old punk songs." Meaning: more than a few Nervebreakers tunes, along with stuff by The Vomit Pigs, The Clash, The Damned, The Sex Pistols, Iggy & the Stooges, The Dictators, The New York Dolls, The Buzzcocks and more. That's the kind of rehash rock we can get behind...

Show up: Hairy Apes BMX and the Earl Harvin & Mike Dillon Duo are at Trees on January 10; Kinky Friedman and Billy Joe Shaver play Sons of Hermann Hall on January 11; The Sparrows, Sorta and Tweed perform January 11 at Gypsy Tea Room; Little Grizzly plays January 13 at Muddy Waters; Hi-Fi Drowning and 25% Toby are at Rubber Gloves Rehearsal Studios on January 11, followed by the return of Cobretti, along with The Modern Machines and Little Grizzly the next night; The Adventures of Jet and Kissinger play Club Clearview on January 10. Maybe this weekend's shows will come off better than the New Year's Eve fiasco, where a protracted blackout meant if you were the headliner, you weren't playing. Or maybe not.

 
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