Giving It Up

"One man is about to do the unthinkable. No sex. Whatsoever. For...40 Days and 40 Nights." Um, hello? Is that, like, supposed to be hard? But Matt (Josh Hartnett) isn't like the rest of us. Beautiful women throw themselves at him daily, and it's such a problem. Why? Well, he's trying to get over his ex (Vinessa Shaw), and every time he has sex with someone else, he envisions his ceiling starting to crack revealing a black hole that threatens to suck him in. One could suggest that he simply not look at the ceiling, but, alas, the modern woman just has to be on top, forcing Matt's gaze heavenward. Matt thus decides to swear off sex for Lent. His motives aren't entirely pure: It's also a way of competing with his brother (Adam Trese), who's studying to become a priest. At first, the vow makes him stronger, as he swiftly becomes a workaholic. But then the girl of his dreams (Shannyn Sossamon, looking like Teri Hatcher's kid sister) just happens to introduce herself at the Laundromat. Chances are most of us won't shed many tears for poor Matt; fewer will laugh, especially at a climax that shrugs off rape. Director Michael Lehmann is a long way from the glory days of Heathers; this is strictly work for hire.