Powers Off

In Goldmember, Myers' mojo is running low

Not much has changed in the 11 years since Mike Myers used the first Wayne's World movies as a personal launchpad, only tipping his James Bond-spoofing Austin Powers hand when he was strong enough at the box office to reap the rewards of his licensed characters. Now those spy-movie send-ups--the major ones played by Myers himself--are back amid the cockamamie spectacle that is Austin Powers in Goldmember.

Making some vague attempt (Mel Brooks' movies are funnier) to be fair (so are the Zuckers') to Myers (or give it up to Peter Sellers) and his oeuvre (heck, just rent some Monkees videos), this third Austin Powers movie is about as funny as the first two, scoring laughs on about 60 percent of its attempts. The other bits range from saccharine preciousness (another cutesy rap video; how novel!) to flat-out begging (asides to the camera that'd embarrass Mickey Dolenz), but, indeed, the majority of the chuckles arrive intact. This is no mean feat, considering that Myers' universe of humor is about as vast as his perineum. Pee, poop, more pee, bit of wind, lots more pee, nasty mockery of childbirth (which the women at my screening seemed to enjoy) and endless erectile gags. One knows better, but one laughs a bit.

If Myers' material hasn't changed much--a rehearsal day on the Wayne's World set in '91 found him assaulting innocent bystanders with an underwear cavort--he has become increasingly insistent in its delivery. On the surface, Goldmember is about the struggle of mojo-mad secret agent Powers (Myers) against effete archvillain Dr. Evil (Myers) and repulsive Fat Bastard (Myers), as well the new, villainous and tiresome Dutch caricature, Goldmember (Myers). The usual suspects also return in Mini-Me (Verne Troyer), Scott Evil (Seth Green), Basil Exposition (Michael York), Number Two (Robert Wagner) and Frau Farbissina (Mindy Sterling). But, regardless of the sketchy interactions composing this sequel's "plot," director Jay Roach (the first two of these, the funnier Meet the Parents) reveals his prime directive: to keep the frame filled with Myers' grotesquely made-up mug, never mind the (oft-cited) bollocks.

Admittedly, Myers and co-screenwriter Michael McCullers (Undercover Brother) are clever enough to enhance the franchise formula this time around. Although journalists are instructed to "zip it" regarding the movie's utterly unsurprising plethora of celebrity guests--I'm gonna leak one; Clint Howard has a cameo!--it's the new characters who bring fresh air to all his flatulence. As Number Three--a.k.a. "The Mole"--Fred Savage (The Wonder Years) gives great poker face. (He also allows Myers to spew about his loathing of imperfection in others; surprised there hasn't been a character called English Muffin.) In the "Powers girl" role this time around is Beyoncé Knowles of Destiny's Child--not called upon to be particularly funny (her lines must have gone to Undercover Brother's Sistah Girl), but wonderfully engaging as Foxxy Cleopatra, Powers' 1975-based squeeze (don't ask).

Hardly surprisingly, the best giggles come from veteran thesp Sir Michael Caine, who appears with great authority in the role of Powers' father, Nigel. The script harps a little too thuddingly on the popular absentee-father shtick--seems Austin's something of an abandoned child--but otherwise Caine hasn't been this funny since Jaws: The Revenge. His jovially incomprehensible English English conversation with Austin is a scream, as is his elegant manner of dispatching one of Dr. Evil's disposable henchmen. Worth the price of admission.

All in all, you know exactly what you're going to get with this machine--spy spoof for the daytime TV crowd--which is a curse but probably, for most, a cheap blessing. Giggle at the farting submarine. Chortle at the Japanese caricatures. Wheeze at the little guy doing nasty things. The movie will leave you smiling forgetfully on the way out, and Myers will have done his job.

 
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Box Office

  1. Star Trek Into Darkness, 70.6 mil, 84.1 mil
  2. Iron Man 3, 35.2 mil, 337.1 mil
  3. The Great Gatsby, 23.4 mil, 90.2 mil
  4. Pain & Gain, 3.1 mil, 46.6 mil
  5. The Croods, 2.8 mil, 176.8 mil
  6. 42, 2.7 mil, 88.7 mil
  7. Oblivion, 2.2 mil, 85.5 mil
  8. Peeples, 2.1 mil, 7.9 mil
  9. Mud, 2.1 mil, 11.6 mil
  10. The Big Wedding, 1.1 mil, 2.2 mil
Movie Title, Weekly Earnings, Total Earnings
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