Receive Weekly Email and Text Message Updates:
Sign up for latest info on concerts, dining, promotions and more!
Go!

Related Stories ...

National Features >

  • Houston Press

    Hate to Say We Told You So

    A year before Toyota's massive recall, we published a lengthy investigation of problems with the Prius.

    By Paul Knight

  • Miami New Times

    Sex, Drugs, Gambling--and Football

    Heading to Miami for the Super Bowl? Don't leave the hotel without our guide to vice in the Magic City.

    By Michael J. Mooney and Gus Garcia-Roberts

  • City Pages

    Life in the Blue Zone

    Daredevil Dan Buettner's latest trick? Bringing the secrets of immortality to Minnesota.

    By Erin Carlyle

  • Phoenix New Times

    The Greatest Dane

    Bigger than Shaq and proud of it, the world's tallest dog may be living in Tucson.

    By James King

Best Place to "Accidentally" Grope Someone

Central Market

Share

  • rss

Published on September 26, 2002

A well-known author whose name we cannot recall at the moment wrote something in one of those college anthologies--can't remember which--about the anonymity of a crowd. Or perhaps it was loneliness. Anyway, it was quite appropriate to the topic and would have conveyed the message in words far more powerful than those without which the entire meaning of this paragraph would be lost. There was also something in the book regarding form and function, another point of great significance in this context. To grope someone in an apparently inadvertent manner requires close quarters and the cloak of innocence. The uncomfortably tight maze of Central Market's aisles provides both, thanks to a combination of poor design and incredible popularity. It's impossible on a weekend to maneuver through Central Market without pressing flesh with dozens of strangers. Shoppers collide with great regularity, and foot traffic often crashes to a halt. A simple swing of the hips or twitch of the arm--tempered by a quick apology--provides hours of illicit adult fun.