By Jim Schutze
By Rachel Watts
By Lauren Drewes Daniels
By Anna Merlan
By Lee Escobedo
By Eric Nicholson
Aren't you a little bit mad at us?
Dude, I think it's an honor. When you're ragging on some band and you say, "Well, it's not as bad as Jackopierce, but it's pretty bad," or something, I think it's hilarious...Plus, I've had fun of it. It seems like you guys rank on a lot of the commercially successful, viable bands. I mean, you guys do what you do. I think [Robert] Wilonsky told us once to our face, "Dude, look, I print controversial shit. If I don't, nobody reads my paper. Who cares? They don't care. They don't wanna hear fluff. They wanna hear the edge. They want some bite." [Wilonsky responds: I never said that, nor would I ever say that. I believe my exact words were, "Please, for the love of God, stop already."] And I'm, like, you know what? Cool. Have fun with us. Because, I mean, we put our chins out there, man.
WhichObserver comparison did you hate more: Messina & Messina or Oates & Oates?
Jack O'Neill: Can't say I hated it. And I was never sure who Messina was. As for Oates: Little-known fact that in the H&O classic "Leave Me Alone (I'm a Family Man)," he penned the tag line, "And my bark is much worse than my bite." What else can I say? --Zac Crain
Holiday Graft Guide
Most of the freebies around here consist of crap CDs (Bluegrass Tribute to the Who, anyone?) and movie tie-in T-shirts (we've got plenty left for Scary Movie 2), but 'round the holidays, movie studios and their promotional partners like to play Santa. Here are but a few of the goodies to come down our chimney this season, as well as what they're selling for on eBay. Hey, make a bid to Full Frontal; all proceeds will go to charity, by which we do not mean Full Frontal.
The Crocodile Hunter Wild Rescue Wrestling CrocIt came with a DVD of the movie, which isn't worth half as much as this stuffed toy, which measures 3 feet and roars when you squeeze its belly. Selling for $19.95 on eBay, with a buy-it-now option going for $32. What a croc.
Santa Clause 2 Christmas LightsSure to light up any house, assuming 20 bulbs will do, this promotional item contains multicolored lights bearing the Santa Clause 2 logo. Selling for between $9.95 and $24.99, making them slightly more valuable than a lump of Tim Allen's coal.
Thelma & Louise Conair Cord-KeeperYou, too, can own the hair dryer Brad Pitt used...or not. A tie-in with the T&Lspecial-edition DVD, this special-edition Conair isn't yet available online, which means we set the price.
Barbershop Wahl Metro Hair ClippersMGM Home Video sent these clippers, which retail for $19.95, and included the soundtrack to the Ice Cube pic, but forgot to send the DVD. That's cool. We gots the bootleg.
The Bernie Mac Show AshtrayPerfect for that lovingly abusive "father" in the house, this Fox promo's selling for $9.95 at the online auction site.
Girls Club Travel MugWe didn't find this online--then again, you won't find David E. Kelley's show on Fox, since it's already been canceled. We're giving this away.