Forkin' Around

One of our more humiliating childhood moments was having to run laps around the camp mess hall after committing the faux pas of putting our elbows on the table during a sloppy joe feast. The term "mess hall" doesn't necessarily equate with "bastion of fine dining," but at least there our lapses in manners were easily absolved. Elbows on the table may be a small sin, though, compared with the adult shame of reaching for the dinner knife when served the fish course. Heaven forbid.

Harry Campbell

Details

1 p.m. to 3 p.m. Sunday. Cost is $75 for the public and $65 for museum members and senior citizens. To register, call 214-922-1826. Advance payment is required and seating is limited.

Dallas Museum of Art, 1717 N. Harwood St.

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More About

• Sarah Aynesworth
• Dallas Museum of Art
• Etiquette and Manners

General table manners are forced upon us at an early age, tossed in somewhere with the whole "please" and "thank you" routine, but the finer points of comporting oneself at the table may require actual training. Fortunately, the Dallas Museum of Art can no longer refrain from correcting our dining demeanor and is presenting the program Modern Manners, Dining Etiquette in the Second Half of the 20th Century. Led by etiquette consultant Sarah L. Aynesworth, the workshop provides answers to such pressing questions as, "Which fork do you pick up first?" and, "Are you drinking your neighbor's water?" Participants will learn about ever-changing etiquette standards and enjoy (or embarrass themselves during) a four-course lunch from the museum's restaurant, Seventeen Seventeen.

If we had our druthers, all people would eat off paper plates and drink out of canning jars while lounging in front of the television. There would be no iniquity in burping, nor in using our bread as a tiny food bulldozer while making tiny food bulldozer noises. (In fact, all foodstuffs should have associated industrial machinery noises.) But if you feel it necessary to cross your ankles and use the proper fork, who are we to say nay? At least you'll be welcome at summer camp.