The Big House

Denver ain't Dallas, but it might be Dynasty

Texans have to bear the burden of a number of stereotypes: Texas men are brash, gun-loving bubbas; the women are over made-up, big-haired shallow shoppers; we're all materialistic, right-wing, anti-enviro religious freaks.

In reality, none of those descriptions is more than 60 or 70 percent true, tops. Still, the tarring of Texans by furriners continues, with the latest slur coming from Denver mayoral candidate Susan Casey. Denver, it seems, possesses a big, honkin' mayoral mansion donated by a dead cable magnate, and Casey doesn't think it should.

"Denver doesn't need a mansion for its mayor," Casey said, according to the Rocky Mountain News. "Denver isn't Dallas. It's Denver."

Denver's current mayor doesn't live in the 24,000-square-foot mansion--it's used for charitable events--and most of that city's mayoral candidates say they wouldn't live there if elected. (The joint has four bedrooms and 13 bathrooms, the Mountain News reported. Maybe Coloradoans should consider laying off the trail mix.)

While they're at it, they can do a little research. (Casey says she was referring to the TV show Dallas, not the city. Like we're dumb enough to buy that.) For the record, Ms. Casey, Dallas doesn't have a mayoral mansion, most likely because our extravagantly wealthy folk don't generally donate ostentatious, underutilized structures to the city.

They just ask Dallasites to help pay for building them.


Off with their heads: To all the city staffers whom Mayor Laura Miller wants to can for being substandard, subpar or sub-prime, a couple of former Dallas Observer newsroom staffers with average memories say: "We feel your pain."

A little while before Heronner left the newspaper, where she was a columnist, one former Observer writer tells Buzz, Miller sat her down and ticked down all the problems, deficiencies and shortcomings she saw in her fellow writers. One serial-award winner should go, Miller opined, because "she whines too much." Another guy who was bright enough to confine his efforts to regular business hours "lacked passion." Others just didn't have the smarts.

Sure, these mental cripples would miss deadlines now and then, or write something that needed a correction. But not a single one jailed folks under false pretenses.

The staffer with whom Miller shared her harsh scorecard remembers Miller telling her she would be one of the few to be spared the guillotine if Miller were queen. The staffer--clearly one of the bright ones--tells Buzz she didn't believe that for a minute.

 
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