Bottle the Spin

The "40 best artists making music right now?" Nah.

We say: His best album is a few years behind him, but Dave Grohl can always star in his own sitcom.

27. The Flaming Lips

They say: Every generation deserves its own Sgt. Pepper's-era Beatles; these confetti-strewing, anime-loving psych-poppers are ours.

50 Cent still has a bullet lodged in his mouth. You make fun of him.
Sacha Waldman
50 Cent still has a bullet lodged in his mouth. You make fun of him.

We say: Unfortunately, it's all downhill after The Soft Bulletin.

28. Lucinda Williams

They say: The best roots-rocker in America just hit 50 and is better than ever.

We say: So long as "ever" does not include, oh, every record between 1979's Ramblin' and 1998's Car Wheels on a Gravel Road.

29. Ryan Adams

They say: The hot, young torchbearer of roots rock has balls enough to open stadium shows for the Rolling Stones, then spoof "Beast of Burden" at benefit shows.

We say: Not a bad-ass. Just an ass.

30. Audioslave

They say: Chris Cornell and Rage Against the Machine carry on after The Battle of Los Angeles.

We say: And managed to write one good song.

31. Avril Lavigne

They say: The best thing to happen to teen-girl rebellion since Judy Blume.

We say: Dumber than a sock full of quarters and about half as talented. Oh, Cana-duh.

32. The Vines

They say: Aussie nü-grungers keep AC/DC's legacy of rock-star excess alive and kicking.

We say: Yet are too high to write even one decent song.

33. Felix Da Housecat

They say: Chicago house producer becomes a pied piper for the electroclash massive.

We say: Wait...who?

34. Sigur Rós

They say: Abstract-scatting space-rockers from Iceland who don't need no damn lyric sheets.

We say: It's all pops and buzzes over here.

35. The Used

They say: Kelly Osbourne's boyfriend survives life in Utah, makes metallic noise about it.

We say: Dude? Dude. Dude!

36. Dave Matthews Band

They say: Jamland's Prince Charming is secretly turning into a funk fiend, and we can get with that.

We say: This is what they'll be playing outside of Saddam's bunker to force him to surrender.

37. Zwan

They say: Billy Corgan tones down the metal--and the megalomania--and is suddenly fronting a great band again. Smashing!

We say: Which means we're only--what?--two years away from another bout of megalomania. Awesome!

38. 50 Cent

They say: Ex-crack dealer and mad-flowing mix-tape king teams up with Dr. Dre and Slim Shady.

We say: Dude's been shot nine times. Not fucking with that.

39. Jimmy Eat World

They say: The best arena-rock band in emo America.

We say: Note to every other struggling band on a major label: Don't change your sound. Just add more sweaty teen-agers in underwear to your videos.

40. Sleater-Kinney

They say: The den mothers of the grrl-rock nation and one hell of a guitar band.

We say: Ten years ago, Spin would have made them No. 1.

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