Parties are great and all, unless the gathering prompts one of our group members to network the entire time, leaving us in a corner with Ted in Accounting from who knows what company. ProvenBrilliance Productions and Gregory Jones have a take on the party we fully support. Be honest. Their function tonight at 8 is bluntly named: A Wine and Cheese Affair (A Networking Experience). Now, honesty and the proceeds benefiting Bryan's House, we can handle. It's all about going in fully aware of what the evening has in store. We can be prepared to make our own professional connections (as soon as we check into what "professional" means) and forget about entertaining Ted and his cohorts with our old Army trick of flipping and catching stacks of coasters. The wine and cheese part definitely captures the attention as well. If the night, or unemployment, calls for networking, head to NUBar, 3225 Turtle Creek Blvd., Suite 8B. Call 214-891-1550.
Friday, April 25
Could Bruce Campbell in Army of Darkness have recovered the medieval Necronomicon with more finesse and eloquence? (See: "Good...bad...I'm the guy with the gun," "That's just what we call pillow-talk baby, that's all?" and "Listen up, you primitive screwheads.") Probably. But only Campbell's Ash Williams could have released a supernatural evil army with an incorrectly pronounced spell. The guy is an egotistical beefcake (and we love him) transported in time to the 13th century; realism is not what we want or expect from the classic and campy horror/action flick. We do, however, want to see it again on the big screen. Thanks to the Inwood Theatre's Midnight Movie series, we can Friday and Saturday. Just think--Mini Ash, Bridget Fonda and Three Stooges-like skeleton warriors! As Ash would say, "Come get some." The Inwood is located at 5458 W. Lovers Lane. Call 214-352-6040.
Saturday, April 26
Politicians are great exaggerators. In fact, many stray into the zone of lying, and everyone has at one time or another fallen for an official's less-than-true statement. The good ones, if there is such a breed, are the public figures who can keep us hanging past the election and then back out of a statement without making us feel like morons. Barnes & Noble, 7615 N. MacArthur Blvd. in Irving, possibly inspired by current events (see: war and a mayoral race), is letting the people try their hand at inconsistency and prevaricating. The PR people didn't even try to sugarcoat it with a softer name. It's not a Tall Tale Competition, nor is it a Fibber's Forum. It's a straight-up, pants-on-fire Liar's Contest, and there aren't contestants, but "Official Liars" (anyone can sign up for the showdown of untruths taking place at 2 p.m. Saturday). Liars are urged to sign up ahead of time to guarantee participation in this undoubtedly popular event, and, well, we understand the concern: Texas is the birthplace of many a tall tale; ain't that right, Dubya? Call 972-501-0284.
Sunday, April 27
Fine, for years we have tried to conceal the artist we saw at our first concert. We've lied behind Neil Diamond for long enough, and it's time to come clean. With mothers in tow, we were just a small part of the mass drawn together to see a walking 5 o'clock shadow shake its thing. The artist: George Michael. The tour: Faith. He talked about sex, but he also said we had to have faith. On Sunday at 3 p.m. the Friendship Among Faiths conference will talk about said faith as well as prayer traditions among three Abrahamic faiths: Judaism, Christianity and Islam. Rabbis, professors and imams will speak on the shared traits of the faiths and promote the coming together of those from differing denominations. Thanks-Giving Square presents the event at Concord Missionary Baptist Church, 6808 Boulder Drive. Call 214-969-1977.
Monday, April 28
Will the owner of a tenacious pug please report to chain-link 246 in the south fence? Your party is waiting. Ever since the Mockingbird Point Dog Park at White Rock Lake opened, we've been pleased to see the site getting some serious traffic during its generous hours of 5 a.m. to midnight every day. With spring showing its flowery head these days, it's time to take the best friend for an outing dedicated to canine fun (mind you, dogs in heat are not allowed). Local furballs can romp, sniff the occasional ass and spark a fine conversation between owners, or rather, parents. So why aren't there more of these fantastic little yards for yippers? More are on the way throughout the city, and one has officially opened in Deep Ellum. Finally, we get one in our neck of the woods: Bark Park Central, also open from 5 a.m. to midnight, but only from Tuesday through Sunday, is at the southwest corner of Commerce Street and Good-Latimer. Call 214-744-6655
Tuesday, April 29
If there is a simple pleasure, it's getting a drivers license renewed. The wafting scent of milky spittle from the screaming toddler behind you, the fantastic view of spray-on hair enhancer used by the man in front of you and the lovely disdain emitting consistently from the state employee who will officially take the worst photo of you after you've waited an eon. OK, so maybe "pleasure" is not exactly how anyone would describe it, but it is because of that horrible photo that we endure standing on line instead of renewing online. Maybe this opportunity will make that task a bit less painful. From 10 a.m. to 3 p.m., the Texas Department of Public Safety offers a mobile Drivers License Express at Brookhaven College in the Building S parking lot. All services of a permanent office are available, with the exceptions of title transfer and research. Bring cash or a check for $24, current license and proof of Social Security and get a move on. There's no standing under oppressive fluorescent bulbs, and there's a chance it'll take less time than the standard two-lunch-hour wait we're all familiar with. Call 972-860-4823.
Wednesday, April 30
It's hump day, which means one of two things: laundry and the Game Show Network or some seriously inexpensive activity because the paycheck won't show until Friday. Actually, those work for pretty much any day, but we don't want to admit just how many game shows we really watch. We do have qualified suggestions for whichever one you go with. Always go with Richard Dawson for the final round of Match Game PM, and if you want "tasty" to describe your cheap fun, try Comedy Night at Club Stratos (formerly Olympic Pizza) at 2907 W. Northwest Highway. No cover and $2 drinks will make any given stand-up funnier, and the classic Greek menu and new sushi bar (odd combo, but it works) are nothing to sneeze at. This Wednesday, Jeff Love takes the stage to mix a little Cajun humor into the moussaka and wasabi. Call 214-352-3321.