Dino-myte

Plus: Soy-lent Green; Playerís Ball

The style of Bell's quiet-storm moustache--the nickname we've given it around the office--remains virtually unaltered from the days when proud practitioners such as Ralph Tresvant, Johnny Gill (actually, pretty much anyone who was ever in New Edition), Keith Sweat, Al B. Sure! and Jodeci ruled the R&B charts.

("Quiet storm," by the way, derives from the once-popular brand of schmoove, late-night radio on K104. To be honest, most of the musicians we've just named would more accurately fit in the "new jack swing" subgenre, but it's our joke and we're sticking with it. We could have singled out Luther Vandross, who was and is a quiet-storm staple, but the dude just had a stroke, and it didn't feel right. Wait, where were we?)

We're not certain who first popularized the look (Billy Dee Williams? Smokey Robinson? John Waters?), and we're not entirely sure why we're such fans of the look. (Possibly because it reminds us of our teen years, when a barely there soup strainer was all we could manage. That's just a theory, mind you.)

Why is this mug shot so big? So you can see Raja’s ’stache.
Why is this mug shot so big? So you can see Raja’s ’stache.
Why is this mug shot so big? So you can see Raja’s ’stache.
Why is this mug shot so big? So you can see Raja’s ’stache.
Why is this mug shot so big? So you can see Raja’s ’stache.
Why is this mug shot so big? So you can see Raja’s ’stache.
Madonna likes soy. This makes 
her a Soy Toy. Help us. Can’t...stop...soy...puns.
Madonna likes soy. This makes her a Soy Toy. Help us. Can’t...stop...soy...puns.

Either way, its devotees have definitely diminished over the years; goatees, soul patches and even (gasp!) full beards are the facial-hair rule these days. But just as his selfless team play is the exception these days in a league ruled by numbers nuts such as the Cleveland Cavaliers' Steven Davis, so, too, is Bell's defiantly trimmed 'stache. On or off the court, he is a player. --Zac Crain

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