Thursday, July 3
Mmm, spitting. Nothing says America like spitting. At least, that's what the Lakewood Library is going with today at 2 p.m. for its Watermelon Fun Day. We must admit, the name was reason enough for a mention, then when we heard about the seed-spitting contests we knew this was an event to broadcast to the patriotic masses...the huddled masses yearning to spit freely. The library touts other games to highlight "this celebration of traditional American fun," but we're just so fond of their focus on oral projectiles. Maybe our childhood friend and champion watermelon seed spitter will show. Maybe there will be children in unfortunate white shirts that will quickly be soiled by red juice. Maybe someone will agree with us that it's smarter and more tasteful to cut up the melon instead of burying your face in it. The library's got it right in one respect, though: Spitting seeds isn't nearly as disturbing as the less allegiant act of straight phlegm hocking. Spit for freedom at 6121 Worth St. Call 214-670-1376.

Friday, July 4
Pop quiz: Who are Nigel Tufnel, David St. Hubbins and Derek Smalls? How did any one of their drummers die? Who owns a T-shirt adorned with his exact skeletal structure? What song includes the lyrics "Where the banshees live, and they do live well"? Whether you know the answers or have no idea what we're talking about, you need to haul that ass (and the hescher within you) to the Inwood Theatre's Midnight Movie screening of This is Spinal Tap. If the seats aren't packed, we'll be disappointed because this mock-umentary that chronicles the final tour of metal band Spinal Tap, played by Christopher Guest, Michael McKean and Harry Shearer, is required viewing for anyone who has ever uttered a laugh, watched a band interview or at any point listened to rock and roll. Get ready to do all three at once, as darkness falls down on the theater seats and the bass line to "Big Bottoms" starts pounding through the speakers. It's the first offering from the trio that reappears in much, much different form in A Mighty Wind, and it doesn't disappoint..."or so I have read." Tickets for the Friday and Saturday shows are $7.50, and the Inwood is located at 5458 W. Lovers Lane. Call 214-352-6040.

Saturday, July 5
We've fought the adage. Hell, even our own Full Frontal has dispelled the myths of "growth supplements" ("Miracle Grow," June 6, 2003). But apparently, there are some people out there who are still dead set on size. The Arts Gallery on the Spring Creek Campus presents Size Does Matter on exhibit through July 31. The show is a collection of works by more than 30 photography students. Hmm, so maybe by "size" they are referring to the expanse of works composing the exhibit? Well, if that's the case, then we can all breathe a bit easier in acceptance of personal assets, that is until some of this damn fine photography takes our breath away again. The gallery is located at 2800 E. Spring Creek Parkway. Call 972-881-5873.

Tonight they’re gonna rock you: Spinal Tap’s musical voyages from Stonehenge to Sex Farms made an album that could be “none more black” and a film that couldn’t be funnier.
Tonight they’re gonna rock you: Spinal Tap’s musical voyages from Stonehenge to Sex Farms made an album that could be “none more black” and a film that couldn’t be funnier.

Sunday, July 6
Now that we've recovered from all of that patriotic American beer, how about we trek over to experience some Irish pub action? Trinity Hall kicks off Summer Sundays this week, and as if there wasn't enough red meat on the ole Fourth of July grill, the pub offers a two-fer on filet mignon and rib eye steaks. The blarney beef is available from 3 p.m. to 9 p.m., and whilst we chow, the traditional Irish tunes a-flow until 6 p.m., followed by a pub quiz team contest. It's like watching the Game Show Network and eating your favorite steak--except in this case, people can hear you when you shamelessly yell the wrong answer with your mouth full. Trinity Hall Pub & Restaurant is located at Mockingbird Station and is in exceptionally close proximity to the Dart station should that tasty Irish ale render you senseless. Call 214-887-3600.

Monday, July 7
Our grandfather used to dress up like Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's great detective Sherlock Holmes. He'd don the hat, smoke the pipe and fondle his ascot pensively as he suckered our obliging grandmommy into taking posed photos of him. By the car...at the desk...petting the cat...solving a "crime." Yeah, so, our odd relatives aside, Half Price Books and the Dallas Chapter of the Diogenes Club offer their own version of tribute to the master of deduction with The Games Afoot. From 7 p.m. to 8:30 p.m. Monday, events include lectures from Jim Webb, published master of Holmesian studies on London, and Don Hobbs, the internationally known "maniac collector" of all that is Sherlock. Bring monocles and magnifiers for this free evening at Half Price Books, 5803 E. Northwest Highway. Call 214-379-8054.

Tuesday, July 8
Census? They hardly even know us! Or do they? This Tuesday, and the second Tuesday of each month, the local Bureau of the Census offers an American FactFinder and Census Workshop at 10 a.m. The classes are two hours and offer demonstrations of how to find and use information collected by the census. See, it does pay to fill out those bad boys. Information ranging from gender and age to race and religion is all neatly organized for perusal by the public; it's just a matter of finding it. Next time neighborhood stats, U.S. population or ancestry information pique your interest (or are required for some irksome research paper due in less than three hours), the road to info will be all the more familiar. Before heading down said road low on midnight oil, stop off for the free seminar at 8585 N. Stemmons Freeway, Suite 800-S. Call 214-253-4481.

Wednesday, July 9
Calling all train enthusiasts and those who sporadically use foreign accents: All aboard when the Grapevine Train hosts another one of its themed Wacky Wednesdays: The Accent's on Fun Day. A discount of $5 off adult and senior round-trip tickets is easy to get--saunter deliberately up to the ticket window and ask for the appropriate number. Joos reymeembahr tuh spake vith ah furrin aksunt. Once the tickets are in-hand, continuing the accent for the duration of the ride is entirely up to the purchaser, but wholly encouraged by us. Tickets are normally $20 for adults, $18 for seniors and $10 for juniors. The ride departs at 10 a.m., arrives at the Fort Worth Stockyards at about 11:30 and returns to the Grapevine Depot later in the day. Reserve tickets by visiting www.grapevinevintagerailroad.com or call 1-800-457-6338. 'Ave a g'day mate!

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