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These Kung Fu cats are fast as lightning

10/13
The journey of a thousand miles begins with one small step, according to a Chinese proverb. Likewise, the 350-word article on the Shaolin Warriors of China appearance at Bass Performance Hall begins with the small step of surfing the Internet, for a refresher course in the American bible of all things Shaolin. We're talking, of course, about the 1970s TV show Kung Fu, starring David Carradine as Caine, a Chinese-American Shaolin monk wandering the Old West and... wa-a-a-it a minute. It says here that Carradine is not half-Chinese. His mother's name was Abigail. Holy crap. Our whole worldview is shaken. Philosophy is in tatters. Could it be that the words of Master Po--"Listen for the color of the sky. Look for the sound of the hummingbird's wings. Search the air for the perfume of ice on a hot day. If you have found these things, you will know"--likewise are not filled with profound Eastern meaning but are, in fact, a load of TV horse hockey?

Great. That's just great. Damn you, Internet. What's next? Will we learn that kicking someone in the head is not, in fact, the act of a pacifist, or that it is physically impossible to leap six feet straight in the air and turn a full circle, kicking 10 men in the chops before turning a back flip and landing upright?

Facts. We need facts. Maybe these warriors from China's Shaolin temple, the center of Chinese Kung Fu for more than 1,000 years, can help. They promise an action-filled demonstration of hand-to-hand and weapons combat skills honed through countless hours of practice. The show offers precise gymnastics blended with the grace of ballet along with, one would hope, a whole lotta simulated ass-whupping. You know, like pro wrasslin', only classier.

The Shaolin Warriors perform at 7 p.m. Monday. And while Caine says "a Shaolin monk does not sell himself for a handful of rice," tickets for the show range from $20 to $42.50 (call 817-212-4280 or visit www.basshall.com). But then, what does Caine know? That clown's probably from Jersey. --Patrick Williams

10/14
Sports
Illustrated

Huey Lewis doesn't get much airplay these days. Maybe he'll occasionally pop up on some noontime '80s flashback show, but he still hasn't quite graduated to the classic-rock stations yet. He made a name for himself as an average working-class musician with an average working-class band, The News, but never became an average working-class sensation like Bruce Springsteen, or John (Cougar) Mellencamp for that matter. His 1984 album Sports may have sold more than 7 million copies, but the only time you ever see Lewis on TV anymore is when VH1 is airing one of its trashy rock-and-sex-and-roll exposés. It's always the same short clip from "I Want a New Drug" with Lewis in his white boxers enlarged for detail and slowed down for a thorough examination, because Lewis has a reputation among groupies as the most well-endowed man in rock and roll. Millions of albums sold, a slew of top 10 hits and Huey Lewis will still go down as the biggest schlong in rock and roll. Huey Lewis and The News perform Tuesday at 8 p.m. at Bass Hall, Fourth and Calhoun, Fort Worth. $45 to $65. 817-212-4280 or 1-877-212-4280. www.basshall.com. --Jay Webb10/15
Something's Happening
Frampton comes alive and back to Dallas

Do you remember Peter Frampton? Did Frampton Comes Alive!, like, totally change your life? Ooh, baby, do you love his way? If you answered yes to more than one of these questions, we've got an event you'll want to know about. (We also have a message for you: The '70s called, and, well, it may be time to check into voice mail.) In support of his first studio album in nine years, Frampton is bringing his Now tour to Dallas. Although the arena rocker hasn't really rocked since about 1976 (when the only rocking many of today's chart-toppers were doing was in their mamas' arms), Frampton is hoping he can come alive yet again. And why not? He lived through the '70s. He overcame drug addiction. Doesn't he deserve another shot? If it's good enough for VH1's Behind the Music, it must be all right. Frampton performs October 15 at 8 p.m. at the Majestic Theatre, 1925 Elm St. Tickets start at $30. Call Ticketmaster at 214-373-8000. --Rhonda Reinhart

10/10
Down on Skid Row

Warning: Although Little Shop of Horrors in its various stage and screen forms (be it 1986's Frank Oz film musical or the Roger Corman original film version) is very definitely entertaining, the show will be stolen by one very minor character. The story line of a murderous and carnivorous plant shooting a lowly whipping boy of sorts to stardom and then trying to kill him and his cohorts is darkly amusing and stabbing on its own, but it's a certain five minutes of a masochistic dental patient that has us on the floor every time. Jack Nicholson and Bill Murray have nailed the role with their pleas for no nitrous on the big screen, and with such good role models, we're hoping Grapevine's Runaway Theatre can come through for our favorite part of the homicidal, Skid Row soul-singing fiasco. The Runway kicks off the Horror on Friday at 215 N. Dooley St., Grapevine, and the bloodlust continues through November 2. Showtimes are Thursday through Saturday at 8 p.m. with a matinee on Sundays at 3 p.m. Tickets are $12 or $10 for seniors and students. Call 817-488-4842. --Merritt MartinOngoing
Wolf Fan
Number one with a silver bullet

As venerable and assured as the "hair of the dog" after a night of binge drinking, such is man's fascination with lupine life. From Romulus and Remus to Abbott and Costello, a full gamut has been run in terms of canonization and classifying the wolf...even to the point of humanization (or is it the inverse?) via the werewolf. Sure, the werewolf can function as a grisly symbol of conflict, but more often than not, the character immortalized by Lon Chaney Jr. is simply a source of a few cheap thrills and/or laughs. As breezes begin to blow colder, we're more inclined to think of the familiar friend that Wolfie has become to us, and Pocket Sandwich Theatre seems to think likewise with its extended weekend presentations of Joe Dickinson's Werewolf of London, which runs Thursdays through Sundays through November 15. An interactive and all-ages show, WoL revisits the full moons and fog of Hammer/A.I.P.-period lore, as the baddie stalks the cobbled streets with, er, dogged (yet schlocky and family-friendly) menace. The Pocket Sandwich Theatre is located at 5400 E. Mockingbird Lane. Call 214-821-1860. --Matt Hursh10/11
Rock the Jukebox

We are a bit miffed at Tracy Lawrence right now: While we enjoyed jammin' to Joe Diffie's "Prop Me Up Beside the Jukebox (If I Die)" and Mark Chesnutt's "Bubba Shot the Jukebox" and "Brother Jukebox," Lawrence, if our memory serves, never weighed in on that all-important country-music issue. He can tease us with lyrics about women and Texas, but there'll always be a jukebox-shaped hole in our hearts. Don't let that stop you from seeing Tracy Lawrence along with Joe Diffie and Mark Chesnutt at the Rockin' Roadhouse Tour at the Texas State Fair on October 11 at 8:30 p.m. on the Chevrolet Main Stage. The concert is free with State Fair admission, which is $12 at the gate. --Michelle Martinez10/9
Getting Lost
A different odd couple

The plays of Neil Simon seem as though they are the raison d'être of nearly every community theater group in America. Nary a season goes by without somebody doing a version of The Odd Couple, be that couple two Anglo men, two Anglo women or two African-American men. The Garland Civic Theatre has spared us its own Odd Couple coupling, but instead is presenting an entire "Six Sides of Simon" season. The second in the series, Lost in Yonkers, is the serious side of Simon and may well be worth the excursion to Garland sometime between October 9 and October 26. The play is a path of self-discovery for its two adolescent male characters (ages 12 and 15) who are forced to live with their boot leather-tough grandmother during the hard times of World War II. Expect solid staging from director Ed Delatte. Tickets are available through the box office and by calling 972-205-2790. --Mark Donald

 
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