By Anna Merlan
By Lee Escobedo
By Alice Laussade
By Scott Reitz
By Claire Lawton
By Kiernan Maletsky
By Anna Merlan
Well, they're back. But they don't have the kind of cojones you remember. That sweet streak has grown, like a cancer, and gradually killed off any of the edge their humor may have once had. The early symptoms were there in Shallow Hal, a film that briefly made fun of the overweight and the ugly before turning the tables and making you feel bad for laughing. Now, with Stuck on You, they've made a paean to brotherhood that's almost all sentiment--a PG-13 film whose edgiest jokes have been given away in the trailer.
Here's a perfect example: Stuck on You features a significant mentally retarded character, played by a similarly challenged actor named Ray "Rocket" Valliere. Not only are there no jokes made at this character's expense, but the end credits feature a clip of Valliere tearfully thanking the Farrellys and his co-stars for the opportunity. It's a good thing for cinematic diversity that the Farrellys are willing to hire nontraditional actors, and yet this footage of what should be a private moment feels like self-congratulation, like they want to prove to us that they've grown past mocking the less fortunate. Good for them as human beings, but it ain't exactly funny.
Still, reducing the success of the Farrellys to a bunch of retard jokes isn't exactly fair. Part of what made both Dumb and Dumber and There's Something About Mary work was the way they would take a traditional premise, like the buddy movie or the romantic comedy, and introduce weird narrative detours. Here, the narrative is as conventional as can be. It's the old Hollywood fantasy. Lovable small-town guy moves to L.A. to make it big, gets set up to fail, accidentally becomes a huge star, then learns that fame isn't all it's cracked up to be, meets the girl and realizes What's Really Important.
The sole twist in Stuck on You is that our protagonist is two people sharing one body, conjoined twins Bo (Matt Damon) and Walt (Greg Kinnear). The age difference is explained by the notion that Bo got most of the twins' shared liver, and therefore Walt ages faster, but that's about as believable as the many scenes depicting Walt lighting up cigarettes in Los Angeles bars. An early notion of having Woody Allen play Walt would have pushed the premise into true absurdity, but it isn't clear the Farrellys have that in them anymore. Likewise, they could have had Ben Affleck joined to Damon at the hip, but that might have played too much like documentary.
Stuck on You is agreeably affable, but not much more. It's laugh-out-loud funny maybe once, possibly more than that if you haven't seen the trailer yet. The Farrellys can't seem to bring themselves to be nasty to anyone anymore--even Cher, playing herself as the film's ostensible villain, is revealed to have considerably more to her than a heart of stone. Eva Mendes' caricature of a brainless up-and-coming starlet is initially hilarious--and the actress' best role this year--but, of course, she turns out to be kind-hearted through and through as well. The lack of meanness may have been what persuaded so many other celebs to cameo--in addition to Cher, we get Jesse Ventura, Frankie Muniz, Luke Wilson, Griffin Dunne, Jay Leno and Meryl Streep as themselves--but it all seems rather pointless (Dunne is the only one willing to gleefully torpedo his own image). Additionally, it must be pointed out that, judging by the evidence of this footage, "Meryl Streep" is the one role Meryl Streep cannot convincingly pull off.
You want plot details? The twins begin the film as fry cooks at a burger joint in Martha's Vineyard. Walt, however, feels driven to be an actor: His one-man show ("one-man" being somewhat relative when dragging around a conjoined brother with stage fright) about Truman Capote, titled "Tru," is a local hit, and he wants to try to go Hollywood before he's too old. Bo, who likes the simple life, agrees only because he doesn't want to hold his brother back, though it turns out he's also been corresponding online with an Angeleno girl named May (relative newcomer Wen Yann Shih), whom he loves but hasn't told about his condition.
Walt gets his big Hollywood break when Cher, contractually forced to do a silly legal TV drama, spots the brothers and, utilizing a clause that allows her to pick any co-star she wants, chooses Walt on the assumption that his presence will cause the show to fail. Not surprisingly, she's wrong about that, and the show becomes a huge hit. If you've seen The Producers, you've seen this done better.
I mean, really: What can one say about a comedy that has to resort to the ancient gag of having a crying person borrow a silk handkerchief only to blow his nose into it loudly? Or ends in a musical number that's neither funny nor relevant? One can say that the film's creators have lost it, and one would probably be correct.
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