Kinky Friedman

Richard "Kinky" "Big Dick" Friedman's running for governor of the great state o' Texas, and what else is new? Seventeen years back he ran for justice of the peace in Kerrville and almost won; might have, if only people would have voted for him. So now he throws his Stetson, which blessedly no longer covers his head of Hebrew dreadlocks, into the gubernatorial campaign some three years before the actual election, which allows him just enough time to collect the 45,000 signatures an independent needs to either run in this state or secede from the union, I forget which. No matter--it's a joke and it's not a joke, like there's much of a difference. "The question is whether my candidacy is a joke, or the current crop of politicians is the joke," Friedman told The New York Motherfuckin' Timestwo weeks back (November 29, believe it). He's got my vote, for what it's worth (20 bucks, or a jar of his deeeeelicious salsa).

His Governor's Balls tour--oy, that Kinky--kicks off this month and brings him 'round to Poor David's, this time all by his lonesome (no Little Jewford bringing the basso laugh track on this abbreviated tour). He'll read from his Texas Monthlypieces, tell tales about being pals with presidents and perform such classics as "Ride 'em Jewboy," "They Ain't Makin' Jews Like Jesus Anymore" and other songs with Jew somewhere in the title. Oh, and he'll smoke a cigar, belch into a microphone (followed quickly by a high-pitched pardon meeeee) and, more than likely, suggest that any film about his life or based on any of his mystery novels should star Lionel Richie. Wouldn't miss it for all the matzo in Midland.