Deathray Davies, Chomsky, OHNO and Envoy

In the spirit of the new year, I have gotten completely wasted on champagne to preview the Club Clearview New Year's Eve concert, and whoa, dude, I love everybody! This concert is gonna be so cool and so many people will be there and I love the rock 'n' roll. Chomsky and Deathray Davies playing at the same show--that's like two chicks making out. Oh, man, I hope a whooole bunch of chicks make out at the show. I bet they will when Glen Reynolds (Chomsky!) shakes his butt and looks all sexy and rocks out. Not that I'm into that. I'm totally a dude and I dig chicks and I hope nobody saw that photo of me kissing... oh, no, dude! That reminds me: OHNO and Envoy will be there, too. OHNO's poppy in a Coldplay way, and Envoy sounds like the bratty bastard of Idlewild and The Frames. Wait, who am I kidding, acting like a music critic? I'm a fucking phony! I still have CDs by Live! Secret Samadhi, Jesus, I am never going to get laid. Every time I tell a girl I write for the Dallas Observer, she laughs at me and talks to some idiot meathead instead. Man, I'm so going to beat up some meatheads at Clearview on New Year's Eve, and I'll be all rocking out to the Deathray Davies' theremin antics and punching this guy, yelling, "Hey, meathead, I know more about music than you!"--even though I'm a fucking phony. See you at the show. It's gonna be sweeet!