Nervous Nellie

Nervous Nellie

Last week, Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban accused coach Don Nelson of being a "drama queen." We weren't sure we believed him until we found this note in the Mavs locker room, apparently meant for assistant coach Del Harris.

One-Way Street

To address the city's homeless problem, Mayor Laura Miller will hold a town hall meeting on January 29, giving the Dallas homeless community a chance to ask Miller questions about their present and future. Which is great. The meeting was scheduled from 3 p.m. to 5 p.m. Which was not so great. Why? Most of the people Miller plans to speak with at the meeting spend their nights at area homeless shelters, and most of those shelters require their residents to be there at 5 p.m. or else they have to find another place to stay. Since the shelters operate on a first-come, first-served basis, people start lining up at 3 p.m. They don't really need a meeting to tell the city's homeless that they are S.O.L.

Once homeless advocates pointed this out, the meeting time was moved up. But we've learned of a few other stumbling blocks that may prevent many homeless people from getting enough face time with Miller.

1) The meeting will take place at the Westin Galleria, just after the monthly lunch of the Dallas Police Patrolman's Union.

2) There is no valet for shopping carts.

3) There will be a cash bar. Additionally, there is a two-drink minimum.

4) A $20 "donation" is recommended. Strongly recommended.

5) Attire is black-tie. Tuxedo T-shirts do not count.

Quotes Taken Out of Context From Other Publications

This week, Dallas native and resident Angie Harmon, from her interview in this month's Redbook

··· "When the man gets up to go to the bathroom at night, I cheer."

·· ·"I had sausages for toes."

·· ·"If she were crying right now, I'd whip out my boob."

·· ·"There were 20 people tapping on the window, looking at my daughter's private parts...she was like, 'Woo-hoo!'"

·· ·"I was terrified, knowing that they were going in, you know, to my insides."

·· ·"We're both pretty hairy people."