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Trash Talk

Ruby Ann Boxcar leaves the trailer for the bookstore

A A A Comments By Merritt Martin Thursday, May 13 2004

When an advice book has an index like this one, you know you're dealing with a wild one. For instance, let's take the S section topics: saints and sinners, sand in your crack, secrets and lies, septic tanks, sexual awakening and Shanghai beef baloney. Or perhaps the M section: menfolk; Messner, Tammy Faye Bakker; Methodists; and milk, expiration date of.

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Ruby Ann Boxcar signs copies of Dear Ruby Ann at Sam's Club, 1701 W. State Highway 114 in Grapevine, on Thursday at 6 p.m.

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The boisterous and, uh, interesting Ruby Ann Boxcar (whose previous works include Ruby Ann's Down Home Trailer Park Cookbook) wasn't lying when she titled her latest venture Dear Ruby Ann: Down Home Advice About Lovin', Livin' and the Whole Shebang. Obviously she's covered a wide array of topics not limited to but including all aspects of her alleged trailer park life.

This book is slightly different from her previous forays, as this time she includes letters from fans and her "sage" responses. One reader asks about dealing with phone solicitors, and Boxcar counsels that "when they ask if I want to buy, I say, 'Oh, yes, I do, but how much of this will welfare cover?'" Then there's her response to a letter asking if a red dress and fishnets are appropriate for a best friend's funeral if she's meeting the widower after. Boxcar says not to be ashamed of who you are; after all, "People know I'm gonna have a piece of pie just like they know that you're about as easy as fryin' eggs in hell."

This "trailer park maven" may have her recipes and sass down, but something tells us there's more to her than big hair. It's something that we've been wondering ever since her Web site, rubyannboxcar.com, posted correspondence and a link to our favorite midcentury-obsessed Style Network transvestite, Brini Maxwell. Do you get our drift here? Because, as irritating as the whole "white trash and trucker cap" fad is, we still have to jump at the opportunity to meet Boxcar at Sam's Club on Thursday. See, she may claim to have a hubby named Dew, but we'd love to find out if "Dew" is really just trailer park-speak for "beard." Oh, and we also have to give her thanks for that SPAM recipe.

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