Monkey Business

Real nice:The National Coalition for the Homeless releases a survey calling Dallas one of the 20 "meanest" cities in the nation in its treatment of the homeless. Following the survey, the city council authorizes spending $300,000 to keep the downtown Day Resource Center open overnight, giving downtown's homeless a place to sleep. The plan is delayed, however, when the city neglects to get a variance to its own zoning rules to allow the center's clients to stay overnight. "We're sorry for the mix-up, but trying to cut through City Hall's red tape and bumbling management is a nightmare," a City Hall spokesman tells reporters. "Frankly, I think someone should fire us."

What, no keno?:Mavericks owner Mark Cuban reveals plans to create a hedge fund that "invests" in wagers on sporting events. Cuban says part of his motivation for creating the fund is to show that investing in traditional markets is just another form of gambling. Unlike traditional hedge funds, however, investors in Cuban's fund will be given complimentary cocktails, and those who fail to make margin calls will face mandatory meetings with "investment advisors" Dominic and Vincent.

David Hollenbach

Homless Person

David Hollenbach

Dogs run free. Why can't he? Jabari bit the bit banana in 2004.

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Putsch comes to shove: City council candidate Beth Ann Blackwood, president of Citizens for a Strong Mayor, files petitions with 30,000 signatures calling for a May vote on a proposal to strengthen the powers of the Dallas mayor. Under Blackwood's plan, the office of city manager would be eliminated and most of its duties given to the mayor, who would also be authorized to forcibly annex Mesquite in order "to clear a space to the east" for future growth.