By Jim Schutze
By Rachel Watts
By Lauren Drewes Daniels
By Anna Merlan
By Lee Escobedo
By Alice Laussade
By Scott Reitz
One of the girls, Brooklyn, briefly interrupts his dance.
"Hi, honey," Rock says, lifting up his sunglasses.
"Will you, um, put the dark lights on to cover my fat ass?"
"Ah, yeah. I like that fat ass, though." To prove his point, he gives it a smack.
When the song ends, and he and Mariah have both finished their dances, he heads back to the mike. "Tip those girls! Hey, Mariah, you missed one!" A stray bit of currency is in the middle of the stage. As she bends over to pick it up, Rock lets out a flatulent-sounding duck call. Mariah smiles up at the booth and flips him off.
He lets out a belly laugh as one of the managers comes up behind him, landing a fake punch.
"You can't hurt steel," Rock says. "I'm telling you, you can't hurt steel! I'm Dr. Rock. I'm the ayatollah of rock and rolla!"
The manager stares him down and laughs. "Lick my nuts and shut up."
But how long can it last for a man who's already spent half a century on earth and 20 years in the gentlemen's club business? Naturally, Dr. Rock looks to rock and roll for his answer.
"I've always told myself--because I've been asked that question before--who's the oldest rock-and-roll band in rock-and-roll history that's still performing?" he says. "The Rolling Stones. If they can still rock and roll at 60, I can still rock and roll at 60. And so I've still got a long time to go."
He pulls up Ugly Kid Joe's "I Hate Everything About You" for the next dancer, Brooklyn. There probably isn't a person here tonight who would direct that sentiment to Dr. Rock.
"You guys are awful quiet out there. Where's all the Dallas Mavericks fans in the house tonight? Texas Ranger fans? Dallas Cowboy fans? Dallas Stars fans? How many people don't care about sports right now, they just wanna see naked women tonight? Thank you. Thank you very much. All right, let's continue on, bringing up another beautiful lady, coming up main stage, feast your eyes, here you go, Brooklyn!"