By Jim Schutze
By Rachel Watts
By Lauren Drewes Daniels
By Anna Merlan
By Lee Escobedo
By Alice Laussade
By Scott Reitz
Nominations for the Dallas Observer Music Awards will be announced in next week's issue. Originally, I planned to unveil the list at the end of March, but apparently, I keep secrets about as well as Linda Tripp. Until next week, I'm taping my mouth shut, which should at least please fans of Strangleweed. In the meantime, I lift back the curtain to reveal the not-so-anticipated, completely unscientific "Behind the Music Awards" awards.
Best Typo: Because of a typographical error during tabulation, several people voted for a new band called "A Dozen Furries." Not sure Ozzfest winners A Dozen Furies would appreciate that moniker, although it does give me a few ideas about a Pound Puppy-themed tribute band.
Best Typo, Runner-Up: Some Mediterranean-minded reader cast his Best Rap vote not for Tahiti--the talented, self-deprecating MC--but for Tahini, the delicious sesame-seed sauce.
Best Plea for Your Vote:In a hilarious MySpace posting titled "Why We Fight," Baboon managed to bash the awards, plea for your vote and support animal rights. An excerpt follows: "How many times has Baboon as a collective entity been nominated for those f%ck.ng piece of shit, no-good, lame-ass Dallas Observer Music Awards? Plenty! How many times have any of us, collectively or individually, won a mother-scratching, father-Chinese-Christmas trophy? None! Let me repeat that! None! Not once! 'You lose, sir! You get nothing! Good day!' But as the good soldiers, we continue to fight the good fight against impossible odds. But this is no happy-ending, feel-good movie, people. The fat misfit kids aren't going to beat the rich, mean kids this time. You wanna know why? We don't know why. That's just the way it is sometimes. Kittens grow into cats and puppies grow into dogs and they both die. But you wanna know the difference between Baboon and the rest of those bands? We care about that. We care about the kittens and we care about the cats. We care about the puppies and we care about the dogs."
Gentlemen, you win the unofficial Behind the Music Awards prize for creativity and excessive use of expletives. Congratulations! A cold six-pack awaits you at the Observer front desk. Please e-mail with brand preference.
Band to Watch: Red MonroeThis local quintet formed a few years ago at Oklahoma University, but damn, do they have some UK exchange program there? Because in their Friday-night opening gig for Flickerstick at the Granada, Red Monroe combined the best bits of Doves, U2 and Radiohead to strike a balance between spacey synthesizer experimentation and hook-filled guitar-pop. The star of this show was lead singer Eric Steele, whose pipes are so big and soulful (and eerily Thom Yorke-ish) that I wondered when someone would hop on stage and offer him a contract on the spot. Fortunately, Steele has a band to match, and while the guys have some trouble translating dronier songs from the studio to the stage, catchy numbers like "Sympathy for Geno" resulted in roars from the audience. And me. --Sam Machkovech
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