Behind the Music Awards

Artists' secret riders reveal true character, fascinating pickle relish fetish

Recently, the Dallas Observer has obtained riders for awards show performers Burden Brothers, Radiant*, Tahiti, Dallas Observer supergroup and Zayra Alvarez. Burden Brothers

4 -- cases Miller Lite

3 -- bottles Jägermeister

Details

The Dallas Observer Music Awards are Tuesday, May 3, at the Granada Theater starting at 8 p.m. Tickets are free and available at Western Warehouse Store #10 at Central & Royal and area Planet Tan locations. Please come. It will be fun.

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1 -- beer bong

1 -- quarter (preferably "Vermont")

1 -- designated driver

4 -- bottles Wet 'n' Wild black nail polish

1 -- jar sweet pickle relish

20 -- lacy bras provided for female audience members (PLEASE: Distribute at opening of "Beautiful Night.")

6 -- plates of Wing Street hot wings (turbo-spicy)

1 -- shirt for Todd Lewis

PLEASE NOTE: CALL HIM VADEN! Radiant*

1 -- pointless asterisk

3 -- jars Bedhead Boy Toys hair gel

33 -- hallelujahs

4 -- subway tokens

4 -- six-packs of Zima, hidden inside Budweiser containers

1 -- jar sweet pickle relish

1 -- major-label contract

Zayra Alvarez

veintiuno -- botellas de agua

dos -- 12-pack de la Corona

uno -- tarro fresco del salsa del condimento

dulce de la salmuera

uno -- llave a éstos manillas

algunos lazos de los hombres

POR FAVOR: Entiéndeme! Tahiti

1 -- room for posse

2 -- rooms for posse's posse

3 -- rooms for groupies of posse's posse

PLEASE NOTE: DO NOT mention anything if said posses do not show.

1 -- VHS tape of Swordfish, fast-forwarded to Halle Berry nude scene

1 -- jar sweet pickle relish

1 -- large towel

1 -- Young MC cassette tape

4 -- fresh floral arrangements (PLEASE NOTE: Bougainvillea is lovely this time of year.)

Dallas Observer supergroup

(Carter Albrecht of Sorta, Daniel Hopkins of Radiant*, Cory Watson of Black Tie Dynasty, Chris Holt, Sara Radle, Ward Richmond of Slick 57)

1 -- open bar

 
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