Behind the Music Awards

Artists' secret riders reveal true character, fascinating pickle relish fetish

Comments (0) Thursday, Apr 28 2005

Recently, the Dallas Observer has obtained riders for awards show performers Burden Brothers, Radiant*, Tahiti, Dallas Observer supergroup and Zayra Alvarez. Burden Brothers

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The Dallas Observer Music Awards are Tuesday, May 3, at the Granada Theater starting at 8 p.m. Tickets are free and available at Western Warehouse Store #10 at Central & Royal and area Planet Tan locations. Please come. It will be fun.

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4 -- cases Miller Lite

3 -- bottles Jägermeister

1 -- beer bong

1 -- quarter (preferably "Vermont")

1 -- designated driver

4 -- bottles Wet 'n' Wild black nail polish

1 -- jar sweet pickle relish

20 -- lacy bras provided for female audience members (PLEASE: Distribute at opening of "Beautiful Night.")

6 -- plates of Wing Street hot wings (turbo-spicy)

1 -- shirt for Todd Lewis

PLEASE NOTE: CALL HIM VADEN! Radiant*

1 -- pointless asterisk

3 -- jars Bedhead Boy Toys hair gel

33 -- hallelujahs

4 -- subway tokens

4 -- six-packs of Zima, hidden inside Budweiser containers

1 -- jar sweet pickle relish

1 -- major-label contract

Zayra Alvarez

veintiuno -- botellas de agua

dos -- 12-pack de la Corona

uno -- tarro fresco del salsa del condimento

dulce de la salmuera

uno -- llave a éstos manillas

algunos lazos de los hombres

POR FAVOR: Entiéndeme! Tahiti

1 -- room for posse

2 -- rooms for posse's posse

3 -- rooms for groupies of posse's posse

PLEASE NOTE: DO NOT mention anything if said posses do not show.

1 -- VHS tape of Swordfish, fast-forwarded to Halle Berry nude scene

1 -- jar sweet pickle relish

1 -- large towel

1 -- Young MC cassette tape

4 -- fresh floral arrangements (PLEASE NOTE: Bougainvillea is lovely this time of year.)

Dallas Observer supergroup

(Carter Albrecht of Sorta, Daniel Hopkins of Radiant*, Cory Watson of Black Tie Dynasty, Chris Holt, Sara Radle, Ward Richmond of Slick 57)

1 -- open bar

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