By Jim Schutze
By Rachel Watts
By Lauren Drewes Daniels
By Anna Merlan
By Lee Escobedo
By Eric Nicholson
We here at the Dallas Observer want to say "thank you" to D magazine for naming Jim Schutze "best muckraker" in the mag's upcoming August issue. Or, instead of "thank," maybe we mean another word ending in "k," because D's compliment was backhanded. The magazine's editors said Schutze's column was one of two reasons to pick up the Observer each week, the other being the massage parlor ads. (Glad to hear the boys at D are patronizing our advertisers.) The D blurb suggests that the ads may limit the impact of Schutze's columns. Could be, we reckon, but then life is filled with tough choices: You can take money from whores for ads and publish Schutze, or whore yourself to your advertisers to make a buck with a mediocre mag.
Some choices are less tough than others.
That's certainly news to some of the men in our office, who consider Highland Park the sexiest 'burb, thanks in part to Highland Park Village, which, they say, draws an unusually high number of MILFs. (MILF is the American Pieacronym for "moms I'd like..." You can figure out the rest. Incidentally, Buzz has never, ever referred to any woman as a MILF. It was, um, other men.)
Aaaaanyway, we tried calling Addison's PR firm and City Hall to get some more info on this whole sexy suburb thing, but oddly enough, no one seemed to want to comment for Buzz. (We want to talk about sex, and they don't call back. Man, if we had a dollar for every time that happened.)
So what makes Addison so hot? Well, the list was crafted by a real estate broker, so average home price figured into it, as did retail shopping and the number of plastic surgeons.
Average home price? Who knew?
Brace yourself, Mrs. Buzz. Next time you come home from a hard day of shopping, we'll be wearing nothing but a few pages from a Neiman Marcus catalog and talking dirty about escrow and average prices per square foot.