Be honest, you've already been to Sam's Club and purchased your weight in Little Smokies, tortilla chips and jars of queso. The television screen has been so thoroughly cleansed it sparkles between speakers equipped with surround sound. This year you even went all out and purchased a TV-tray set, complete with caddy. Your chair--well, nothing has been done to the chair and nothing is going to be done to the chair. You're more than ready for football season. So is Drew Bledsoe. The 13-year NFL veteran and Dallas Cowboys starting quarterback is ready to talk ball and he's going to do it on "In the Pocket with Drew Bledsoe" during the Bo & Jim Morning Show on 92.5 KZPS throughout the season. Offering pre- and post-game insight on scheduled Friday and Monday mornings during the season is awesome, but Drew is bringing the Pokes even closer by starting his show this Thursday for some commentary before the final pre-season game. Tune in at 7:30 a.m. Check out www.kzps.com.
Friday, September 2
There's nothing more terrifying than introducing your judgmental Southern family to your new and much older British art-dealing wife. Except maybe arguing politics with said family. The Modern Art Museum of Fort Worth presents Phil Morrison's Junebug as part of its Magnolia at the Modern series, and audiences get to play voyeur to both of these situations--from a safe distance, thankfully--played out by Embeth Davidtz, Amy Adams, Will Oldham and others. We're interested in Junebug 's subject matter, but we really wanted to see it after perusing the cast/roles list. Now, we're determined to figure out how the role of Meerkat Expert fits in with Southern family squabbles and that whole red vs. blue argument. Film screenings are scheduled for Friday at 6 p.m. and 8 p.m., Saturday at 5 p.m. and Sunday at 2 p.m. and 4 p.m. The museum is located at 3200 Darnell St. Tickets are $7.50. Visit www.themodern.org.
Saturday, September 3
What the world needs now? We know! In the face of political warfare and famine, let's take a step back and concentrate on the really unimportant things. Why not a reality series starring Hulk Hogan? Done. We definitely need to see Jose Canseco in women's knickers. Thank you, Surreal Life. But still, after all the VH1 Divas Live performances, we need even more attitude, lamé get-ups and general swish than Aretha, Celine, Mariah, Mary J. and Elton could provide. And VH1's Celebreality programming just isn't cutting it. Steven Jay Crabtree aims to quench that bitch thirst with his one-man show Dysfunctional Divas. Boldly going where few men off Cedar Springs have gone, Crabtree embodies six devilish diva characters (a Hollywood bombshell, a lip-synching drama queen and others) for his Friday and Saturday shows at Pocket Sandwich Theatre, 5400 E. Mockingbird Lane. The show begins at 11:15 p.m. and tickets are $10 (plus a minimum one-item purchase from the menu). The performance is rated R. Call 214-821-1860.
Sunday, September 4
Everybody has one. Usually they're in the kitchen and hold an assortment of items that were never meant to be stored next to one another such as 3.5 inches of twine, a Barbie outfit, an incomplete miniature tool set, one of those teeny sample lipsticks and, if you're lucky, a pen that actually works. The junk drawer draws unto itself any manner of items that don't have a true home. Right now, in our junk drawer, we have not one, not two, but three sad and lonely cell phones, set aside over the years for upgrades and free phone offers. We just can't toss them because they still work, but we don't need them either. CNET.com and Schoolpop offer the perfect option: Trade Up to the Future. From 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. Sunday at CompUSA Superstore, 8549 Gaylord Parkway in Frisco, CNET.com will take old "tech gear" (those are gadgets such as cell phones, MP3 players, digital cameras) and give customers cash for newer items. Ten percent of the value of traded items will then be donated to the area K-12 school of the customer's choice. Money for local schools and a more spacious junk drawer---it's a win-win. Call 1-800-750-CNET or visit http://ten.cnet.com.
Monday, September 5
What better way to celebrate Labor Day (an observation of the hard work of labor unions conceived more than a century ago) than by making the exceptionally exasperated labor an extra day while we work ourselves to a frenzy and heatstroke right in their faces? We can't help but think that Monday's holiday is quite possibly the most inappropriate occasion to frequent an amusement park. Park employees have been asked to work that extra shift while everyone else enjoys a day off demanding more soda, extra photo keychains and another pic with Sylvester the Cat. But, hey, that's just us. If you've still got that hankerin' for the Texas Giant and flaunting your vacation day, head out to Six Flags Over Texas in Arlington. Tickets are $26.99 to $41.99. Call 817-607-6150 or hit www.sixflags.com/parks/overtexas/.
Tuesday, September 6
If you start now you could be done by Christmas. No fighting for parking at crowded shopping malls. No vying for spots in line at Sam Moon Trading Co. Internet shopping and horrific shipping charges can be forgotten. You could, literally, have everyone covered--men and women--even if you can't tell worsted wool from chenille. Just sit in for one Tuesday meeting with the Lakewood Knitwits. From 2 p.m. to 4 p.m., the group works through skein after skein, with everyone tending to their own level of project. Beginners are just as welcome as expert cable knitters, and it's hard not to pick up pointers with such a wide range of knowledge at your finger...er, needletips. Better yet, you can always check out a book on knitting if you don't quite get the knack since the group meets at the Lakewood Library, 6121 Worth St. Call 214-670-1376.