This Week's Day-By-Day Picks

Thursday, November 3

We'd like to think that if we were stuck in a cabin in the woods during a snowstorm with no electricity, no phone, no radio, no outside contact at all, that an innate hunter-gatherer instinct would kick in and we could chop wood, start a fire with twigs and rocks and just know which berries were edible and which were poison. Chances are all our Girl Scouts training would fail us, and we'd end up rocking and mumbling in a corner or crying in a fetal position on the floor. Panic would ensue. That's what happens in Eric Bogosian's Humpty Dumpty--named so because in the play the delicate eggshell of modern technology and civilization cracks and breaks. As four self-obsessed, technology-dependent New York yupsters find themselves without the security blanket of irony worship and high culture, they begin to unravel--a strong statement and poignant situation after, first, September 11 and now Hurricane Katrina. Second Thought Theatre presents Humpty Dumpty Thursdays through Sundays from November 3 through November 20 at the Addison Theatre Centre, 15650 Addison Road. Tickets are $15. Call the box office at 972-450-6232.

Friday, November 4

Getting through the holidays is hard enough, but now Howard Stern is leaving regular radio for satellite radio and being replaced by David Lee "Just a Gigolo" Roth. Devastated by Stern's departure? Yeah, neither are we. While we support his right to say offensive, thickheaded, button-pushing, FCC-freaking out things, we can't stand his show. But if you can, then perhaps you've wondered what it would be like if his motley crew of colorful characters locked Stern up and tried to out-funny one another. Here's the closest you'll get: the Killers of Comedy Show. Craig Gass, Richard Christy, Sal the Stockbroker, Reverend Bob Levy and Gary the Retard all perform at 8:30 p.m. and 10:30 p.m. Friday at Hyena's Arlington, 2525 E. Arkansas Lane, and 7 p.m., 9 p.m. and 11 p.m. Saturday at Hyena's Fort Worth, 605 Houston St. Tickets are $20 in advance or $25 the day of the show. Call 817-226-5233 for Arlington or 817-877-5233 for Fort Worth.

Saturday, November 5

If you think the answers to your life's problems could be spouted by a conservative, Jewish, gay-bashing psychiatrist with her own radio talk show, then, oh boy, do we have a night of "theater" for you. Yes, your favorite radio shrink (next to Frasier Crane, of course) not only dishes out tough love on the radio, but also in her new one-woman show, Dr. Laura: In My Never to Be Humble Opinion. Act one features Dr. Laura starring as Dr. Laura talking about Dr. Laura. In the second half, she answers questions from the audience and gives advice just like on her show. Her Web site claims that "Dr. Laura's ability to 'wow' her audience will keep this show running for many years to come." Odd then that such a sure hit is only booked for one night. The show is 8 p.m. at the Majestic Theatre, 1925 Elm St. Tickets are $26.50 to $71.50, plus Ticketmaster service charges. Call 214-373-8000 for show admission and valet parking reservations.

Sunday, November 6

We love the stereotype-breakers: the unicorn figurine-collecting mechanics and the Harley-riding, not-afraid-to-break-a-nail beauty pageant contestants. Despite that, we just couldn't imagine intelligent, cultured, sophisticated NASCAR fans. They're urban legends, like alligators living in the sewers after being flushed down toilets and good drivers on North Central Expressway. But, like Mulder and Scully, we know they're out there. So we're heading to the Texas Motor Speedway's Dickies 500 week armed with IQ tests and culture quizzes. The race week includes a NASCAR Craftsman Truck Series qualifying race at 7 p.m. Thursday, qualifying races Friday for the NASCAR NEXTEL Cup Series at 3:10 p.m. and NASCAR Busch Series at 5 p.m., the Silverado 350K NASCAR Craftsman Truck Series at 8 p.m. Friday, the O'Reilly Challenge NASCAR Busch Series at 1 p.m. Saturday and the Dickies 500 NASCAR NEXTEL Cup Series at 2:55 p.m. Sunday, followed by legends racing at 5:45 p.m. in the infield. Texas Motor Speedway is on Interstate 35 West at Highway 114 between Denton and Fort Worth. Visit www.texasmotorspeedway.com.

Monday, November 7