Perhaps you've just read the two novels (Since You're Leaving Anyway, Take Out the Trash and new release My Heart May Be Broken, But My Hair Still Looks Great) by Dixie Cash, never having bothered to read the flap about the author or look at www.dixie-cash.com. If that's the case, allow us to save you some confusion. When you approach the desk for an autograph or sit for the discussion on My Heart at 7 p.m. Thursday at Barnes & Noble, you will see two people at the author table or at the podium. You'll probably want to say, "Now, which one of you ladies is Dixie?" and they will probably both respond "I am!", taking in your puzzled expression. Dixie Cash is a singular name, a pen name, for the two sisters (Pamela Cumbie and Jeffery McClanahan) who create colloquialism-rich, Texas-savvy detective novels with incredibly long names. It's not your eyes playing tricks on you. Meet them at Barnes & Noble Lincoln Park, 7700 W. Northwest Highway. Call 214-739-1124.
Ten bucks says this happens in every office: An inter-office email goes out. Free food is mentioned in the subject line. Random, gleeful woo-hoos rise up from the cubicles, followed by a ruckus of bustling bodies and something that sounds a bit like, "CAKE IN THE BREAKROOM! HURRY!" Then a mass exodus occurs, wherein an ad rep is thrown into a filing cabinet, and a small intern is snapped like a twig for moving at too slow a pace. Nothing brings out the inner beast like the prospect that someone else will get your moist, delicious desserts, like those Cold Stone Creamery is giving away during free Holiday Ice Cream Cake Tasting Events at all stores. Before you go trampling your office mate, Cold Stone is offering the tastings (of both Candy Cane Wonderland and Dark Peppermint Pleasure cakes) from opening to closing Friday through Sunday, so no offensive moves are necessary. Visit www.coldstonecreamery.com for the nearest location. Oh, and our apologies go out to the aforementioned intern. Get well soon!
Saturday, November 12
It's official. We will not be attending the Special Olympics Texas-Greater Dallas Area's Fourth Annual The Power of the Dream Black Tie Gala. It's not that we don't support the Special Olympics. The reason is that motivational speaker Zig Ziglar is the honorary chair for the event, and since childhood we have harbored a deep resentment for the overzealous orator. Some would say this would be the perfect opportunity to amend our feelings, but we disagree. The philanthropists attending this gala will not have to endure any therapeutic rituals as we try to forget the past. Saturday's dinner, live and silent auctions and live entertainment will, we're sure, far surpass the drives to and from Waco spent, at our father's demand, listening to Ziglar's motivational tapes at top volume. It will be great fun for those attending and, hopefully, very beneficial for the Special Olympics, but we're not risking a rage blackout when tickets are $125 per person. What we will do, however, is buy Pops a seat. Check out his dashing tux at the Wyndham Anatole, 2201 Stemmons Freeway, 6 p.m. Saturday. Call 214-943-9981 or visit www.specialolympicstexas.org.
Sunday, November 13
There are all-around foodies, and there are those who favor certain cuisines, spices or even ingredients. And then there are those special fanatics who like nothing more than to feel the burn. For those folks, there is the Chile Pepperama, a festival dedicated to the spicy, the hot and anything else that could describe a chile pepper. The Sunday event (originally scheduled in September, but delayed because of Hurricane Rita) features the Chili Confrontation (a chili cook-off with a peoples' choice award) and the Pumpkin Ice Cream Crank-Off (presumably to cool the tongues of the chili-tasting masses). Prepare the taste buds and watch for seeds at Old Town Shopping Center, on the east side of Greenville Avenue at Lovers Lane, from 11 a.m. to 6 p.m. Admission is free and chili tasting cups are $5. Proceeds benefit the Greenville Avenue Area Business Association. Call 972-943-4624 or visit www.chilepepperama.net.
Gladys Knight is the reason we wanted to become a member of the Temptations. Allow us to explain: For much of our young life, we thought "the Pips" were merely a nickname our mother had for the Temptations, the group of singers we thought were Knight's backing vocalists. Maybe "temptation" was just too long a word. Perhaps a "pip" was a shortened temptation. Whatever our reasoning, we really just had no clue. All we knew was that "I Heard It Through the Grapevine" was just about the coolest song we'd ever heard, and sometimes they did it with Gladys and sometimes they did it on their own. Funny thing was, we never wanted to be a lead singer like Knight because we knew we could never be as amazing as she was. We did, however, think that somehow, they'd let a 6-year-old girl into the Temptations. Experience A Night to Remember featuring Gladys Knight 8 p.m. Monday at the Meyerson Symphony Center, 2301 Flora St. Tickets are $50 to $150. Proceeds benefit Central Dallas Ministries. Call 1-866-468-7621 or visit www.TicketWeb.com.
Tuesday, November 15
Kevin Smith really didn't cut it for us anymore. Then Smith showed up on one of our regularly-TiVo-ed shows, Degrassi: The Next Generation, and we were forced to rethink our position. On the show, Smith used the Degrassi Community School and its students in his "latest project." In doing so, he met Caitlin Ryan (the do-gooder TV journalist grown up from '80s hit Degrassi Junior High) and got her a big-time gig in L.A. That's awesome, because she and Joey were totally in a rut, and that whole marriage proposal wasn't foolin' anybody, besides...well, we digress. Anyway, Smith's back on our good list, and the timing couldn't be better since the Lakewood Theater is featuring his 1995 flick Mallrats as part of the Quick Cocktails and Comedy series. Admission is $1 and well drinks are $2. Doors open at 6:30 p.m., with the movie starting at 8 p.m. Even better? We get to honor another one of our teen soap obsessions, since the bitchy Shannen Doherty stars alongside Silent Bob. The Lakewood Theater is located at 1825 Abrams Pkwy. Call 214-821-SHOW.
Wednesday, November 16
As much as we support older women in creative endeavors, something about handing our mothers a mike and telling them to "get up there and be funny like ya are in the kitchen!" just scares the shit out of us. Perhaps we're still having flashbacks from watching Sally Field make jokes about kielbasa in Punchline. Nick at Nite, however, feels differently and is encouraging all those moms who have a punch line as perfect as Donna Reed's pot roast to come to the Addison Improv, 4980 Belt Line Road, 8 p.m. Wednesday for the Search for the Funniest Mom in America. Now, in all seriousness, it might be a pretty funny show--unless Nick at Nite has rules against working blue...Some of the dirtiest mothers we've ever seen were, well, mothers. Call 972-404-8501 or visit www.improvclubs.com.