Yours truly will be one of the "celebrity judges" judging this year's 27th Annual Greenville Avenue St. Patrick's Day Parade. That means either the bar for celebrity here has fallen way, way below the low bar set by the likes of Judge Judy, or the press release announcing "Dallas' version of Mardi Gras" should have read "celebrity judges and others." In any case, this other will be sitting in the VIP grandstand, getting pelted by beads and rolled-up T-shirts, ready to cast my vote for Best Float, Least Likely to Finish and the coveted Toilet Bowl Award. (This is the price I pay for stupidly showing up at office meetings.) As one of the jurists, however, I must warn the 1,500 or so parade participants that flashing your breasts at the viewing stand will not get you an award. At most, it'll guarantee you one vote. (I can also promise one vote and a petition signature to gubernatorial wannabe and parade grand marshal Kinky Friedman if he manages to toss one of his stogies into my hands.) The parade begins at 11 a.m. and runs south on Greenville for two miles, starting at Blackwell Street. Visit dallasobserver.com/pats06/.
Sat., March 11, 11 a.m.