Eyes Wide Shut

Blinded by desperation, Cowboys refuse to see T.O. as B.S.

For some, the statute of limitations on style over substance is up. Give them the trophy, tarnished or not.

But also realize that Cowboys fans who once cherished the fact that no amount of money could lure Staubach to play for the Redskins have in the last two weeks found their team in bed with a radio station (The Ticket) and a receiving superstar (The Terrell) that built careers partly on belittling the Cowboys.

Those bothered by the Owens/Cowboys relationship are in for a long season watching their ex-wife elope with the guy who once robbed their house. Those who welcome it probably also make time in their lives for driving on the shoulder to circumvent traffic jams and mustering sympathy for women who fall in love with Death Row inmates.

Just remember, hiring a bad guy to become a good guy because you can't beat other bad guys is, at least, degrading and, at most, dangerous.

"I'll be a better teammate and a better man," T.O. says. "The love will grow."

Believe at your own peril.

In the meantime, go dig up Buddy Ryan and George Allen to be Cowboys assistants, promote Osama Bin Laden to Director of American Homeland Security, open the door of the Batmobile for The Riddler to ride shotgun and...

Pray that Jones covers the hole in Texas Stadium, so God and Tom Landry can't see what their favorite team is about to do.

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