By Amy McCarthy
By Scott Reitz
By Scott Reitz
By Lauren Drewes Daniels
By Alice Laussade
By City of Ate
Bibb Lettuce: There's this thing called Bar None: essentially a salad in a concert shell made of pretzel dough. The thing spills with lush greens, tomatoes, roasted nuts and strips of flank steak all washed in wheat beer vinaigrette.
Dr. V: Clever. Twisted, but clever.
Bibb Lettuce: But the meat is gray, dry and has an off flavor, like it was old or abandoned or something. Another thing that has promise is the spicy panko shrimp salad, which is a heap of greens, daikon radish and edamame sprouts, carrots and wasabi peas...
Spinach: They do that to peas?
Bibb Lettuce:... splashed with a lemongrass vinaigrette heaped against a fresh crispy wonton. But the shrimp is dry and tough, and aside from a little wasabi sting on account of those peas, there's no spice. So again, we have to shoulder the burden.
Arugula: They suggest wine and salad pairings. You believe that? Now they're pushing salads with wine?
Bibb Lettuce: They say Pepperwood Pinot Noir with the BBQ Texas slaw.
Spinach: That's the one that works. Put aside the perfect red and green cabbage and bright carrot strips. The shredded pork is juicy, tender and sopped with a provocative sweet-spicy barbecue sauce. We need to pressure people to skip the slaw part.
Dr. V: I'm feeling a lot of pent-up hostility here. Where do we take this? How do we emphasize the possibility of healing?
Arugula: By taking this to the streets. We're forming an activist group. Featured in our media blitz is a gripping documentary: Screaming Cabbage Heads.
D. V: This group?
Arugula: PEVT, man: People for Ethical Vegetable Treatment. The "e" is long by the way, 'cause we're peeved.
Dr. V: You have a celebrity spokesperson? The animal rights people have Moby.
Arugula: Yeah, we're working on Heidi Fleiss. I think we've convinced her that shucking doesn't inconvenience oysters too much, so she won't starve. It was tough. She fell for that Egyptian lettuce myth hook, line and sinker.
Spinach: Who's this Moby?
Dr. V: He's a famous vegan musician, who claims he's distantly related to Herman Melville, who wrote Moby Dick.
Arugula: Well, let's field dress this Moby and render his blubber for lamp fuel. 2808 McKinney Ave., No. 109, Dallas, 214-720-7788; 15615 Quorum Drive, Addison, 972-385-7721. Open 11 a.m.-9 p.m. Monday-Saturday. $$