If you say the words "Michael Bolton" to most passers-by, two reactions are common: smiles and fond '80s memories of AC radio hits like "Time, Love and Tenderness" and "How Can We Be Lovers," or punches to the face. But there's a third response that's grown in popularity over the years, especially in the Dallas area: "Why should I change my name? He's the one who sucks."
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Blame Office Space for that one; the 1999 Mike Judge movie, filmed partly in Las Colinas, has a rabid following thanks to its burning disdain for modern office culture. But it's not just the cube-hatred that makes the movie work. Judge unleashes his loathing for a lot of annoyances--flair-obsessed restaurants, passive-aggressive managers, the Cathy comic strip--and if you hate cube-filled workplaces, chances are you can't stand that other crap as well.
So it was an extra stroke of genius when Judge named a main character after the singer who most famously fashioned a Brillo pad as a hairdo. Actor David Herman (Mad TV, voices on King of the Hill and Futurama) portrayed the "other" Michael Bolton, a cowardly programmer at Texas computer firm Initech who was equal parts friendly and pissed. His most memorable qualities were magnified by the name, whether grimacing at a co-worker when asked if he's "related," voicing his opinion about his name ("There was nothing wrong with it until I was about 12 years old and that no-talent ass clown became famous") or squirming while hiding that opinion to save his job from Bolton fans.
Really, Herman's everyman portrayal of the character, a frustrated little guy screwed over as much by his name as he was by his job, made it easier for everyone else. Thanks to him, people far and wide could now openly trash a singer whose career relied largely on suburban mothers and people who like their singers to sound like a horse in heat. Bolton, more than Taylor Dayne, Wilson Phillips, Bryan Adams or even Rick Astley, represented all that was evil and irritating about '80s soft rock, and it's amazing that it took 10 years for someone to call him out on it.
As Office Space edges closer to its 10-year anniversary, Herman has distanced himself quite a bit from Bolton bashing. A 2004 interview in Lumino Magazine had nothing in the way of music criticism, though he did admit, "I am happy being Michael Bolton. That role and movie has really affected people, so I don't get mad at people calling me Michael Bolton."
He turned down a chance to further scowl at Lightning Bolton (dude, really, how are we supposed to live without you?), but his e-mailed response is probably a good enough hint about his musical tastes: "Both Michael Boltons have suffered enough, but if [you] want to crap all over Bo Bice, give me a call anytime."
