Silent Stupidity

Cowboys' Jerry and Bill have deteriorated into comedy's Penn and Teller

HIM: No.

US: Aw, shut up!

HIM: Fine.

The silent sidekick
The silent sidekick

US: No, wait. I mean, look, we understand your No. 1 job is to win football games and that media relationships don't move the chains. We also realize that, as a whole, the media can be a big, whiny pain in the ass. So let's make a trade. Quantity for quality. Those daily Tuna Talk circle jerks during the season are history. In exchange, we want--the fans want--you to show up and spout off when your team makes a major transaction. You owe us that. If you keep not talking, you'll convince us we're pouring money into the pockets of a cocky, crotchety man who just wants us to leave him and his cobwebbed reputation alone. If you stay silent it seems like you're a lame-duck coach shirking your responsibility. Seems like you're not being accountable. Seems like you don't care about us. You do care, right? We do have a deal, yes?

HIM: No.

So this old couple runs out of friends and money and gets their house foreclosed...

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