Blonde Jokes

Reason No. 913 on our list of reasons to never have children: We will never have to attend anything that "promises lots of fun and laughter for both the young and the young at heart." This promise comes from Duncanville Community Theatre, which is staging Tom McCabe's Goldilocks and the Three Bears, a version involving a runaway from the Enchanted Forest Kiddie Camp and a guy named Ranger Rhonda—which sounds something like the seventh circle of hell for the ancient and dark at heart, who would be rooting for the bears. Still, the species must go on, one supposes. Hell, we hear some people even like their families. If you're one of them, performances begin at 8 p.m. Thursday through Saturday at 106 S. Main St. in Duncanville. Call 972-780-5707 or visit dctheatre.org.
May 11-13, 8 p.m.