Kickin' It In Aisle Five

You like me, you really like me: Opening the DOMA nomination process to the public always results in a few anonymous gems. And even though nobody cast any write-in votes for Alf, Jesus or Laura Miller, a few suspect items did pop up. First off, I must be totally out of touch with Dallas' dance scene, because a few best dance venue votes really grabbed my attention--namely, "Roy Ivy's House," "Fort Worth Central SuperTarget, Aisle 5" and the inestimable "My Pants." I'll have our clubs listings editor check on those right away.

Also, Houston's Blue October received exactly one best hard rock tally from a voter who didn't quite seem to catch the whole "Dallas" part of the event name. It probably says just as much that her only other vote was to pick Eminem as the city's best rapper. (At the very least, she could've gotten the location right by voting for Vanilla Ice instead...)

But the most heartwarming vote on the whole ballot had to be the single vote I received; my alter ego, DJ Hard to Pronounce, landed one nomination for best DJ in town. Unfortunately, as a Dallas Observer employee, I'm ineligible for the DOMAs, and as a DJ, I suck, but thanks to that brave, solitary citizen for giving my lame, iPod-assisted tenure as a party-starter a fair shake.

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Sour grapes: I recently received a few letters asking why we don't include a "writers' picks" section in the awards. The answer is obvious: We get enough soapbox time in the Observer as it is. Still, it wouldn't be a proper Observer event if somebody didn't piss on everyone else's good time, right?

Though you'll see that the Deathray Davies made out fine this year, I thought the band got robbed by missing out in the best song category. Barely anybody bothered to nominate "Chainsaw," the band's most radio-ready single ever from last year's The Kick and the Snare, and it's a baffling oversight. This year's crowded rap/hip-hop category left some serious heavyweights off the ballot, as well; I'd feel remiss to leave Versatile and King Ashoka completely unrecognized, so if it helps, my hat's off to ya, fellas.

Honestly, I'm pretty happy about the results of the awards. It's a deserving group this year. But it breaks my heart that Bosque Brown, in spite of running neck-and-neck with its competition, didn't land a single win. We have one of the country's most distinct, touching and powerful singer-songwriters in our backyard in the form of Mara Lee Miller, and if that's not enough to sway the popular vote, then I suppose the honor of winning our editor's choice for 2005's best album ("The Local List," December 22, 2005) will have to suffice.

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Fo' yo' 'fo: Nominations were split halfway between a public vote and a nominating committee, made up of the following people who actually returned my e-mails and phone calls: Zak Alexander, Noah W. Bailey, Michael Chamy, ch0, David Card, Lindsay Graham, Frank Hejl, Merritt Martin, Don Nedler, Robin Phillips, Darryl Smyers, Mike Snider, Russell Turns, Jeremy Word, Heather Yiirs and Lance Yocom. (Oh, and me, too.)

Thanks: It takes a lot of people to make the music awards work, so pardon the formalities while I thank those who deserve it. First of all, the contributors who helped write the awards feature are incredibly attractive and special people, particularly Merritt Martin and Noah W. Bailey, who kept me sane as deadlines (and procrastination) loomed. Thanks also to the promotions and street team departments at the Observer; of note, Stacy Gilfillan managed to organize her first-ever DOMA ceremony without being kidnapped by anybody in Hogpig. Some others: Kacey Suel and Natalie Trevino worked in the trenches by counting votes and contacting nominees. Mike Simmons, Mark Graham and Allison V. Smith made the feature look mighty fine. Thanks to every reader who voted, every band who plays, every kid who sends me song demos on MySpace and every last page of hate mail. Oh, and thanks to Jason Terry, Dirk Nowitzki and DeSagana Diop for keeping hope alive. GO MAVS!